Married Ladies, especially such as are fair, Tall, and slim, I would next recommend to beware How, on losing one spouse, they give way to despair; But let them reflect, "There are fish, and no doubt on't— As good in the river as ever came out on't!"
Should they light on a spouse who is given to roaming In solitude—raison de plus, in the "gloaming,"— Let them have a fix'd time for said spouse to come home in! And if, when "last dinner-bell"'s rung, he is late, To insure better manners in future—Don't wait!—
If of husband or children they chance to be fond, Have a stout iron-wire fence put all round the pond!
One more piece of advice, and I close my appeals— That is—if you chance to be partial to eels, Then—Crede experto—trust one who has tried— Have them spitch-cock'd,—or stew'd—they're too oily when fried!
FOOTNOTES:
My friend, Mr. Hood, In his comical mood, Would have probably styled the good Knight and his Lady— Him—"Stern-old and Hopkins," and her "Tête and Braidy."
[77] The familiar abbreviation for Tappington Everard still in use among the tenantry.—Vide Prefatory Introduction to the Ingoldsby Legends.
[78] For some account of Father John Ingoldsby, to whose papers I am so much beholden, see Ingoldsby Legends, First Series, p. 216 (2nd Edit.). This was the last ecclesiastical act of his long and valuable life.