Oh, ne'er "on such a day as this" Would Dido, with her woes oppressèd, Have wooed Æneas back to bliss, Or Troilus gone to hunt for Cressid!
No, they'd have stayed at home, like me, And popped their toes upon the fender, And drank a quiet cup of tea:— On days like this one can't be tender.
So, Molly, draw that basket nigher, And put my desk upon the table— Bring that Portfolio—stir the fire— Now off as fast as you are able!
First here's a card from Mrs. Grimes, "A Ball!"—she knows that I'm no dancer— That woman's asked me fifty times, And yet I never send an answer.
"Dear Jack,— Just lend me twenty pounds, Till Monday next, when I'll return it. Yours truly, Henry Gibbs," Why, Z—ds! I've seen the man but twice—here, burn it.
One from my Cousin Sophy Daw— Full of Aunt Margery's distresses; "The Cat has kittened in 'the draw,' And ruined two bran-new silk dresses."
From Sam, "The Chancellor's motto,"—nay, Confound his puns, he knows I hate 'em; "Pro Rege, Lege, Grege,"—Ay, "For King read Mob!" Brougham's old erratum.
From Seraphina Price—"At two"— "Till then I can't, my dearest John, stir;" Two more because I did not go, Beginning "Wretch" and "Faithless Monster!"
"Dear Sir,— "This morning Mrs. P—— Who's doing quite as well as may be, Presented me, at half-past three Precisely, with another baby.
"We'll name it John, and know with pleasure You'll stand"—Five guineas more, confound it!— I wish they'd call it Nebuchadnezzar, Or thrown it in the Thames and drowned it.