"What there is to know, I know it;
What I don't know isn't knowledge;"
and is much inclined to dub her own mother "old-fashioned." So she contradicts her, precedes her in entering a room, takes the easiest chair, monopolizes the conversation, and in other disrespectful ways endeavors to assert her own importance. Instead of crediting her with more social experience, bystanders consider her a very crude and untrained young person.
Deference to Age.—One reason why convent training is so highly esteemed in our best circles is because girls are taught such beautiful manners. No convent-bred girl would think of showing the slightest disrespect to an older person. They are taught all the little matters of etiquette that contribute to gentle and refined manners. A lady staying at a large summer hotel noted the charming manners of a young Southern girl, especially in regard to the unfailing deference paid to her mother and aunt. She rose when they addressed her and remained standing during the conversation. When the aunt came to the breakfast table the girl rose, standing until the elder lady was seated; if her mother entered one of the reception rooms she excused herself if conversing and advanced to meet her, finding a seat for her and perhaps asking permission to introduce an acquaintance. And it was all done so easily, so naturally, that it was plainly seen there was no affectation, but the unstudied courtesy due to good-breeding.
On the other hand, girls who undertake to show their respect for their seniors sometimes overdo the matter. No elderly person likes to be "fussed over." She doesn't want someone continually thrusting a cushion behind her shoulders or insisting on providing a foot-stool. The unwelcome service provokes a little resentment. One must have an intuitive sense of what to do and when to do it, and tact enough to perform a trifling service without the appearance of saying "See me! how polite I am!" As young men should rise when an elderly woman enters the room, so a young girl may pay the same pretty deference to her mother or an acquaintance. She should be careful not to take precedence of older women, not to interrupt them when speaking, and to render any small service unobtrusively.
[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 719]
THE YOUNG GIRL'S SOCIAL AFFAIRS.
There is no special code of etiquette for girls. Why should they be trained in one code, only to discard it for another when they enter society? Their etiquette is simply more informal. Until they are "out," they do not give formal invitations. Their functions are chiefly luncheons, invitations being given by telephone or personal notes, and the menu more simple. They may give theatre parties, but never without a chaperon. They do not invite young men to call on them; that is their mother's duty. They do not send written invitations to young men; these are in the mother's name. Thus:
My Dear Mr. Smith:
My mother wishes me to say that it will give her much
pleasure if you will spend Friday evening, March tenth, with us,
quite informally. We hope to see you at eight o' clock.
Yours sincerely,
Mary Gray.
Such an invitation presupposes the presence of other guests. If for cards, or music or games, mention may be made of the proposed entertainment.
A girl should not receive calls from young men without the presence of some member of the family, her mother by preference, at some time during the evening. A young man should not feel that the girl he calls upon is not properly looked after by her parents.