When he takes leave of a lady, the same act of deference is expected.
Hat and Coat When Calling.—When calling, the man looks after his own hat, overcoat and stick. His hostess does not offer to relieve him of them, nor suggest the removal of his coat. He deposits his hat and stick on table or seat in the hall before entering the drawing-room, and takes off his overcoat if his call is to be prolonged. Or, he may take them all with him into the drawing room if his call is to be brief. In any event, it is his business to dispose of them according to his own pleasure.
RULES FOR PRECEDENCE.
A man precedes a woman in going down-stairs and follows her in going up.
This is that he may be in readiness to catch her should she fall.
He allows a woman to precede him on entering or leaving a room, and should open the door for her.
On entering a hotel dining-room the man may precede the lady to the table assigned them, on the occasion of their first meal, standing until she is seated. Afterwards, he may follow her as the head-waiter leads the way. Sometimes he permits her to precede him in the first case.
The question is sometimes asked who should follow the usher on entering church or theatre. The rule above stated obtains. The woman follows the usher; the man follows her.
The man allows the lady to enter the carriage first, but descends before her that he may assist her to alight. The same rule prevails in regard to entering and leaving a street car, etc.
ABOUT SMOKING.
The old rule of good manners: "A gentleman does not smoke in the presence of ladies," is many times violated in these modern times. There is a story of an elderly woman who, being asked if smoke was offensive to her, replied: "I do not know. No gentleman has ever smoked in my presence." The woman of today is more likely to answer "Oh, dear no! I love the odor of a good cigar." The truth is the cigar has become such a constant and apparently necessary adjunct to a man that to banish it is in effect to banish the man. And women prefer to endure the smoke rather than have the man absent himself. There are very few cafes and restaurants where men do not conclude their repast with a good cigar, even when entertaining ladies.