Avoid Espionage.—And yet, with all this responsibility, the chaperon must avoid anything like espionage. She must not open letters; she must not be prying and inquisitive; she must not give reasons for the girl she chaperons to regard her as "a dragon."
A giddy, flirtatious chaperon is a disadvantage to a girl. She is so desirous of securing attention and having a good time herself that she neglects her charge. Often she undertakes chaperonage chiefly or entirely in order to go about herself. Such a chaperon is worse than none at all.
The Girl and the Chaperon.—A girl should remember that her chaperon stands in the relation of a mother to her for the time being, therefore any disregard of her chaperon's suggestions or wishes is the same as disregarding her mother's. No well-bred girl ever does this—well, at least not publicly. If her chaperon gently intimates that it is time to go home, that she is dancing too many times with the same man, or "sitting out" too long, she should cheerfully comply with the hint. She should not vanish with an escort, leaving her chaperon and others—to wonder at her absence, but at the close of every few dances, before the beginning of another, ask to be taken to her chaperon. There her next partner will naturally look for her.
She must at all times treat her chaperon with the utmost respect and deference, remembering the lady is bestowing a favor by taking charge of her, and that it is often at her parents' request.
At a theatre party, bachelor's tea, sailing party, excursion, etc., one married woman is sufficient chaperon.
The girl who works, the art and music student, may look after herself, but the society girl must submit to the thralldom of the chaperon.
[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 773]
The Chaperon in Middle Class Society.—While the rules of etiquette are intended to be of general application, there are certain relaxations in middle class society not permissible in more fashionable circles. This is the case as regard the chaperon. Many young men on moderate salary would not feel they could afford to buy a ticket to the theatre or concert for a chaperon, or order a carriage. But is a girl then to be denied permission to accept the invitation? Under such circumstances middle class etiquette requires that the young man shall be well known to the family as a person of good habits and reputation. The girl, however, is not supposed to accept an invitation to a supper afterwards. She may go to a dancing party at a private house or a club in case proper chaperons are provided for the affair and they almost invariably are. But it is better taste for a party of young people to go together under the care of a chaperon.
When a girl receives a young man visitor, her mother should always meet him. She should enter the parlor, be introduced if he is a stranger, converse for fifteen or twenty minutes, and excuse herself, leaving the young people to their tete-a-tete. No girl ever loses a young man's estimation through being properly looked after.
Under no circumstances should the young girl be allowed to accompany a young man on an excursion without a chaperon. She should not motor with him alone; another pair of young people should go with them unless a chaperon is included.