Friendly Advances.—Friendly advances generally come from pew neighbors. Respond to them courteously but without undue eagerness. Do not expect your pastor to become your social sponsor with his congregation, and remember that though he will probably call after letters of church membership are presented, you have no claim upon his family, nor the families of any of the church officers through acquaintance in business life. This is often a grievance to people from smaller towns who, moving to a city, expect the families of their business associates to assist them socially. Two men may be partners for ten years without their wives knowing each other by sight, if they chance to move in different social circles.
Demeanor.—One should dress quietly at church, give attention to the service and the clergyman, and not linger unduly in the vestibule to gossip or greet friends. To notify the usher if one's pew will not be occupied is a courtesy if the preacher is popular and the church crowded. To be disagreeable in case strangers are shown to one's pew, or mistakenly seated there, is unkind and unchristian. Giggling, smiles, exchange of smiles or bows in the church proper are regarded as bad form.
[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 777]
NEIGHBORHOOD ETIQUETTE.
Neighborliness is a quality little exercised in cities, where one may live next door to people for years and merely know their names. Some people prefer not to know their neighbors, fearing undue familiarity on their part. The relationship may be a very pleasant one if both parties observe certain restraints. It is not well to become too intimate. Nobody wants a neighbor running in at all hours, with or without an errand. Sometimes to sit on the back porch with a book or paper seems to invite a neighbor to "run over" and the hour's rest or mental recreation is given over to small talk.
A neighbor has no more right to enter without knocking than any other caller, whether by kitchen or front door. It is an intrusion, a disregard of the reserve that should characterize neighborly intercourse. No matter how friendly, friendship will last longer where the forms of decorum are observed.
Borrowing.—The exchange of "kitchen-kindnesses" should be ventured upon rarely. By these is meant the plate of cookies or biscuit or doughnuts we send our neighbor on baking-day. Some families prefer their own cooking. A woman who had been annoyed by many unsolicited donations of this kind, persisted in though unreciprocated, finally piled the sent-in biscuit rather ostentatiously on the garbage can in full sight of her neighbor's window. Other hints had failed, this was effective—a rather violent remedy, but after all not undeserved. In case of illness, where one has no maid, or the family must care for the sick, a fresh cake or a tasty dessert may be offered, and will seldom fail of appreciation. Knowing the circumstances, one need not hesitate over the proffer of a neighborly kindness.
There is little excuse in the city for the borrowing of kitchen staples which is the bane of some country neighborhoods. A borrowing neighbor is an affliction—a nuisance which unfortunately doesn't come under the jurisdiction of the Board of Health.