The sociable Sand Witch

by Thomas Lambert Sappington

"What of it?" cried Floo, "I'm going on nine."

So the Dancing Pearl and the wizard's apprentice decided to get married as soon as Floo made enough money to support them, and they were so taken up with their planning that they quite forgot the Hermit of Hong who had been turned into a lemon. But if they had forgotten about the Hermit, the Hermit had not forgotten about himself, and the minute Floo turned him into a lemon he began to turn himself into something else. Of course what he would have liked to do best would have been to turn himself back into a hermit, but when you have been transformed into something, you cannot turn yourself back into what you were first unless you have attended a college of magic. And as luck would have it, the Hermit of Hong had never been to college, and what little magic he knew he had picked up himself. Therefore, the only thing he could do was to turn himself into something worse than what he was. And as long as he could not be the Hermit of Hong and have the Dancing Pearl dance for him, he decided he might as well get even by being transformed into something that would stand in the way of Floo having the Dancing Pearl, so he turned himself into a monstrous Grammarsaurus or ancient Iff, for he knew if anything could stand in the way of a person doing something he wanted to, an Iff could, because an Iff not only stood in the way but it had the most disconcerting eyes. Yes, indeed, its eyes made you so dizzy after you had gazed into them a moment you fell down in a heap, whereupon the Grammarsaurus devoured you eagerly. But if you did not look into the creature's eyes you were all right, for the Grammarsaurus could not eat anything unless it was perfectly still. You see he had to keep his eyes shut while he was eating, because if he looked at what he was eating it went around and around, and it is awfully hard to make a meal of anything that is going around and around.

But of course Floo and the Dancing Pearl knew nothing about ancient Iffs and their habits. All they knew was that they adored each other and wanted to get married, and when the Hermit turned himself from a lemon into an immense creature that half filled the cavern, you may be sure they were very much startled.

"Oh," cried the Dancing Pearl, as the Grammarsaurus gave a snort that made the cave tremble, "what's that?"

"What's what?" asked Floo, turning about. And then when he saw the ancient Iff you can well believe he said "oh" also.

"My gracious," he gasped, "how did that thing get in here? And—and where is the lemon I made out of the Hermit?"

"That," said the Grammarsaurus, icily, "is a mystery that I can easily solve. I am the hermit, likewise the lemon, and also something else beside as you may observe."

"I should say you were," said the Dancing Pearl. "I never saw such a monster."

And then as she looked into the creature's eyes she felt a slight dizziness coming over her and found herself swaying, but as she was a dancer and accustomed to whirling about, the feeling passed off in a moment and she was as well as ever.

"Huh!" said the ancient Iff disgustedly, "why don't you turn giddy and fall down in a heap so I can eat you? Everybody does that when they look into my eyes."