11. Get out a newspaper, and advocate the principles of the strongest party, swearing thick and thin through every thing. You need not bother yourself about writing original matter; crib wherever you can. There are plenty of fellows who want office,—lawyers particularly,—and they will write slang enough to fill your columns. You might quietly levy a little black-mail or hush-money from neighbours guilty of indiscretions: dirty money will buy as much as clean.
12. You needn’t marry, unless some fond rich girl should happen to fancy a fool. You know, you need not trouble yourself much about her after you have secured her money: let her father look after her welfare. If she dies broken-hearted, why—she ought not to have been so sensitive.
13. You may be troubled occasionally by a qualm of conscience; but this can be settled by a dram or two. After a few doses, conscience will go to sleep, and trouble you no more, unless you should happen to see a Bible or hear a sermon, which as a matter of course you will try to avoid. It is true, wreck and ruin will be sure to overtake you, and the devil will catch you at last; but why worry yourself before the time?
IMPOSING, OR PREPARING FOR PRESS.
IMPOSITION
