"Jarv. Paid Mr. Warren for perfumes—milk of roses, 30_l_.'
"Lady T. Very reasonable.
"Sir P. 'Sdeath, madam, if you had been born to these expenses I should not have been so much amazed; but I took you, madam, an honest country squire's daughter—
"Lady T. Oh, filthy; don't name it. Well, heaven forgive my mother, but I do believe my father must have been a man of quality.
"Sir P. Yes, madam, when first I saw you, you were dressed in a pretty figured linen gown, with a bunch of keys by your side; your occupations, madam, to superintend the poultry; your accomplishments, a complete knowledge of the family receipt-book—then you sat in a room hung round with fruit in worsted of your own working; your amusements were to play country-dances on an old spinnet to your father while he went asleep after a fox-chase—to read Tillotson's sermons to your aunt Deborah. These, madam, were your recreations, and these the accomplishments that captivated me. Now, forsooth, you must have two footmen to your chair, and a pair of white dogs in a phaeton; you forget when you used to ride double behind the butler on a docked bay coach- horse…. Now you must have a French hair-dresser; do you think you did not look as well when you had your hair combed smooth over a roller?…. Then you could be content to sit with me, or walk by the side of the— Ha! Ha!
"Lady T. True, I did; and, when you asked me if I could love an old fellow, who would deny me nothing, I simpered and said 'Till death.'
"Sir P. Why did you say so?
"Lady T. Shall I tell you the truth?
"Sir P. If it is not too great a favor.
"Lady T. Why, then, the truth is, I was heartily tired of all these agreeable recreations you have so well remembered, and having a spirit to spend and enjoy fortune, I was determined to marry the first fool I should meet with…. you made me a wife, for which I am much obliged to you, and if you have a wish to make me more grateful still, make me a widow." [Footnote: The speeches which I have omitted consist merely of repetitions of the same thoughts, with but very little variation of the language.]