ON DR. ****,
A MERE PRETENDER TO MEDICAL SCIENCE, OFFICIOUSLY
OFFERING ME HIS SERVICES.
'Should you e'er be unwell, send directly for me; To cure you I'll haste with all possible speed, Prescribe and find medicine without any fee.'— Oh! Doctor! your offer's most generous indeed; I'd accept—but for something—the vast obligation. 'But for what, pray?'—The instinct of self-preservation.
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If, as Swift says, in the most delicate mind Nastiest ideas we are sure to find, Then—equal to his humour and his wit Swift's delicacy we must all admit.

ON HEARING A PARSON READ VERY BADLY A
SERMON HE HAD BOUGHT.
That sermon, reverend Sir, which you have bought, To save your idle brain the toil of thought, You read in such a dull, lethargic tone, It seems almost as stupid as your own.
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Pursefull's a stickler for the law's abuse:— To him, 'tis clear, it was of sterling use.
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Pursefull still advocates the law's abuse.— What moralist can gratitude condemn? They, formerly, have done so much for him; Ought he not, now, to do his best for them?

TO MR. BURY, AN EMINENT SURGEON IN COVENTRY,
ON HIS HAVING PERFORMED A SUCCESSFUL OPERATION, IN A
CASE OF DEEPLY-SEATED INFLAMMATION IN THE NECK,
WHEN THE PATIENT WAS IN EXTREME DANGER OF
IMMEDIATE SUFFOCATION.
Bury, for practice bold and skill Deserves to be of note; He cures by means that well might kill,— He cuts his patient's throat!
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When Satan tempts a priest to rise, 'It is the call of heaven!' he cries, And mount's ambition's ladder:— To heaven's own call that bids him be, Like Christ, full of humility, He's deafer than an adder.

AFTER HAVING SEEN SEVERAL BAD PAINTINGS OF
THE DEATH OF SIR JOHN MOORE.
Cease, daubers! profane not the theme, I implore ye! But leave him, O leave him alone with his glory!
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Man's owl-eyed reason—Popish Priests assert— Can't safely bear the gospel's heavenly light; Therefore, with kindest zeal, they do their best To keep their flocks in unillumined night.
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'The brokers of the Stock-Exchange Are nicknamed bears and bulls;—how strange! What reason, Sir, to call them so?' Ma'am, see their manners, you will know.