1. That of children to parents. This is founded on the law of nature, as under God, they derive their being from them; and they are obliged thereunto, from a sense of gratitude for that love, tenderness, and compassion which they have shewn to them. Therefore the apostle says, that this is right, Eph. vi. 1. that is, equitable, and highly reasonable; and elsewhere, that it is well-pleasing unto the Lord, Col. iii. 20. This duty includes in it several things.
(1.) They are sometimes to shew the regard they have to them by outward tokens of respect. Thus Solomon, though his character, as a king, rendered him superior to all his subjects; yet he expressed a great deal of honour by outward gestures to his mother; when she went to him to speak in the behalf of Adonijah: it is said, that ‘the king rose up to meet her, and bowed himself unto her, and sat down on his throne, and caused a seat to be set for the king’s mother; and she sat on his right hand,’ 1 Kings ii. 19.
(2.) They ought to be ready to do them any acts of service, which are not unlawful or impossible, when commanded by them. Thus Joseph obeyed Jacob, when he sent him to see where his brethren were, and what they were engaged in, Gen. xxxvii. 13. and David obeyed Jesse, when he sent him to his brethren to the camp of Israel, 1 Sam. xvii. 17, 20. This service is required more especially of them, while they live with their parents, are maintained by them, and not, by mutual compact, become servants to others.
(3.) Another duty which they owe, is, patient submission to their just reproofs, design for their good. Thus the apostle says, ‘We have had fathers of our flesh, which corrected us; and we gave them reverence,’ Heb. xii. 9.
(4.) They are to attend to, and comply with, their wholesome advice and instruction. Thus it is said, A wise son heareth his father’s instruction, Prov. xiii. 1. and, on the other hand, he is branded with the character of a fool who despiseth it, chap. xv. 5. and it is farther added, He that regardeth reproof is prudent.
(5.) Children are to express their duty to their parents, by a thankful acknowledgment of past favours; and accordingly ought to relieve them, if they are able, when their indigent circumstances call for it; and endeavour to be a staff, comfort, and support to them, in their old age. This is contained in the message which Joseph sent to Jacob, when he invited him to come down to him into Egypt, Gen. xlv. 9,-11. So when Ruth bare a son to Boaz, her mother Naomi’s companions blessed her, and said, He shall be unto thee a restorer of thy life, and a nourisher of thine old age, Ruth iv. 15.
(6.) Children are to pay deference to, and, so far as it concerns the glory of God, and their own future good, be advised, by their parents, in disposing of themselves in marriage, or any other important change of their condition and circumstances in the world. Herein they acknowledge their authority as superiors, and the care and concern which it is supposed they naturally have for their welfare, as a part of themselves. Moreover, by this they pay a deference to their wisdom and judgment, as being superior in age, and probably, in wisdom, as well as relation. And this ought to be done out of a sense of gratitude for past favours received; and prudence will, for the most part, dictate as much, especially when they depend on them for present, or expect future advantages from them. This is also an expedient to maintain love and peace in families, which is oftentimes broken by the contrary practice. And it may be farther recommended, from the laudable examples hereof in good men; as Isaac, who submitted to the direction of his father Abraham herein; and Jacob, Gen. xxiv. who was determined by the consent of Laban, chap. xxix. Many more instances might be given to the same purpose. And, on the other hand, Esau’s contrary practice hereunto is recorded in scripture, as a vile instance of disobedience; which was a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah, chap. xxvi. 35. And it was, doubtless, an argument that he had no regard to God or religion.
Nevertheless, this obligation is not without some exceptions; for,
[1.] We do not speak of parents that are so far deprived of judgment, that they are not fit to determine this matter; nor,
[2.] Such as have divested themselves of the natural affection of parents, and entertaining an ungrounded prejudice against some of their children, are endeavouring to expose them to ruin, that they may shew more kindness to others. These forfeit that right, which is otherwise founded in nature.