Tick. Guardian! What do I think of them on general principles? I don’t like them. I had one once. He spent all my money, then married my only sister and spent hers. I’ve no use for them. I recommend you to take one.
Spratt. Me! Confound your insinuation. You mistake me entirely. I—
Enter Topp, D. F., comes down C.
Topp. (Eyes them with quick keen scrutiny.) Good morning, gentlemen, which is Mr. Dick Spratt?
Spratt. (Rushing up with card.) Robert Spratt, sir.
Tick. (Rushing up with card, each trying to get ahead of the other.) Here’s my card sir, I represent—confound it (hastily pocketing card); (aside) “card of the firm”; (confused) my name is James Tick, Esquire.
Topp. (With slight emphasis.) Oh, I see, James Tick, Esquire; and Robert Spratt, Esquire, too, I presume? Your business, gentlemen.
Spratt. (Trying to get ahead of Tick.) I have just what you want sir, right here, lovely disposition, good health, good stock, pardon me if I say it myself.
Tick. (Insinuating himself before Spratt.) Pardon me my house—hang it, I don’t mean house—my goods are A 1, good health, clean skin, and the most beautiful long ears.
Spratt. (Contemptuously.) Long ears! I’d be ashamed to tell it!