Enter Birdie Robbins, R.
Birdie. (Cross.) I’ll just look around and see that everything is in decent order, and I dare say it isn’t at all. The other directors leave all that to me. Governor Perkins and Judge Flyer haven’t attended a directors’ meeting for three months. They ought to be ashamed of themselves. (Looks in letter box, takes letter out, reads.) Another appeal from the Pacific Coast Home Mission Society. Urgent appeal for help. The Chinese are sending missionaries to America by the score. Confucian daily paper published in San Francisco. Dear me, things are going to the bad headlong, and this club doesn’t even protest. I wonder if those people have repaired the faucets in the dressing room! (Exit R. U. E.)
Rosa. (Comes from behind screen.) This is a pretty mess. I do hope he won’t come. If I try to stop him at the door, it may lead to complications. (Birdie heard re-entering. Rosa behind screen as before.)
Birdie. Soap nearly all gone already. The servants are robbing us, feeding their relatives at our expense, and smoking our cigars by the score. We read that all these things happened in the old times. Alfaretta sick to-day! She’ll have to be sent to the tobacco cure and the club will be obliged by law to pay the bills. Such demoralization on every hand. When the men managed things they stole everything in sight. I’ve just been reading a curious old book of the last century called “An Iron Crown.” There were big thieves then, according to that author, who stole millions. Now women will stoop to purloin a few cigars. (Petulantly.) I’m ashamed of them. (Sees note on floor.) What is this? (Picks it up.) Why this is directed to “Hon. Chief of Police, Brennan de Cork.” It is unsealed too. Official business, doubtless, I’ll see. (Opens and reads.) Mercy! Can this be true? Impossible! I’ll put it back. No, it is a matter too important to be concealed. (Reads.) “Hon. Brennan de Cork: Miss Pink T. Hykight presents her compliments to Mr. de Cork and desires the pleasure of his company to the Elsie theatre to hear Paddiwinski next Saturday evening. Find the usual gratuity for flowers enclosed.” Such iniquity! I always suspected the sincerity of that woman. Her crime shall be punished. As vice-president, I shall call a directors’ meeting at once. (Exit R. 1.)
Rosa. (Coming down.) Here’s a pretty go! There’ll be a scandal sure, for if there is a sincere member in the club, it is Miss Robbins. Who would have thought that Miss Hykight was so sly? Well, de Cork is a great catch. Dear me, if I am discovered. Mr. Blake is so indiscreet. I shall talk to him seriously. (Steps heard.) Goodness, some one coming. (Darts back behind screen.)
Enter Blake, R. 1.
Blake. I do hope she’ll meet me. Not here! How cruel! She thinks me too forward, but I can not conceal my love. (Rosa behind screen leans forward eagerly to listen.)
Enter Pink T., quietly, R. 1.
Blake. Yes, I’ve been too forward. She despises me. (P. T. advances on tip toe, also Rosa comes further down, pleased.) Oh, for one word, one glance of those beautiful eyes.
Pink T. (Aside.) Poor thing!