Pres. We are making much of a trivial matter.
Birdie. You will find it not so trivial before we get to the bottom. Smilax, tell me plainly, did you see a plumber in the club rooms yesterday?
Mary. I? Goodness, no!
Birdie. Did you see a dude?
Mary. (Throws up hands.) Laws a me, no!
Birdie. Well, I did, and so did Giglette. With him was another person, a fine-looking person I regret to say, who evidently had no business here.
Daisy. A dude! Shocking! A plumber is bad enough but a dude—Let the investigation proceed.
Sec. (Starting uneasily.) Miss President, I decline to serve on that committee. In fact, I have an important communication to make and deem this an opportune time. I hereby resign my office and my membership in the club. (“Oh’s” as before.)
Pres. (Solemnly.) This investigation apparently is about to assume a personal tone, which I deprecate and can not countenance. I also resign rather than be a party to such an inquisition. (Rises, vacates chair, comes down C. Sensation “oh’s,” “Did you ever,” etc.) And I don’t mind saying further, since certain persons are so inquisitive, that Chief of Police, Brennan de Cork has consented to change his name soon to Hykight. (Sensation as before.)
Dollie. Congratulations, old chap!