Lively plays for live people

by Thomas S. Denison

Mrs. N. I don’t care a tuppence fur their talk. My tea an’ my coffee an’ my doughnuts aint beat nowhere.

Mrs. S. Yes, but I—

Mrs. N. I don’t care a rap. Mrs. Hartley wears dimons and lace and she sets a mighty poor table, an’ I aint afraid to tell her so. They all eat at my house till I thought they’d bust. (Mrs. S. laughs.) You kin laugh Mrs. Slightly, but I won’t be put on. (More and more excited.) An’ I’ll have my say when it comes to that. Sallie Neverdun aint the kind to be put on an say nothin’.

Mrs. S. But Mrs. Neverdun—

Mrs. N. I aint castin’ no reflections on your table, fur it was bang up, an’ I sez right there, to Marier Wilkins, sez I, “this layout beats Mrs. Hartley’s with her dimons an’ her kerridges an’ she—”

Mrs. S. (In despair.) But, Mrs. Neverdun, haven’t I always been your friend?

Mrs. N. I’ve nothin’ agin you, Mrs. Slightly. Haven’t I just said that many’s a time? I said to Marier Wilkins that your table beat Mrs. Hartley’s all holler, with her dimons an’ two niggers to dish salat an’ turn coffee. Why, her salat—

Mrs. S. (Excitedly.) But Mrs. Neverdun—

Mrs. N. There! it’s goin’ to her head agin. Lay down a spell.