Mrs. C. I don’t know about that. He’s a queer man. When I first met him I weighed only ninety pounds. It didn’t seem to matter to him when I weighed twice that.
Mad. P. But it does matter. He is deceiving you. Men prefer willowly women.
Mrs. C. Maybe, but I’ve heard him say that Mrs. Smith was as thin as the last run o’ June shad. Couldn’t you fatten that woman? It would be a relief to her neighbors if you could, and it would prove that you can perform miracles.
Mad. P. Yes, get her to come in. I’ll give you a commission. It’s very simple. If she’d only take my Anti-lean. All she needs is to have the fat glands stimulated. Anti-lean is the greatest discovery of the age.
Mrs. C. Would you mind telling me what it is; in confidence, you know.
Mad. P. Oh, goodness, that is a professional secret.
Mrs. C. I’ll tell her about it, but, good land, what ye’re doin’ to me would kill her. I couldn’t stand it if I wasn’t as strong as an ox.
Mad. P. You are doing bravely. What did you eat for breakfast?
Mrs. C. Three oatmeal crackers and a cup of coffee.
Mad. P. You have broken the rules. I limited you to two crackers.