Throws shoes in box. Takes up another pair.
Farmer Snooks! (Laughs heartily.) By ginger! that was funny. (Laughs till he holds his sides.) Made that pair for Snooks an’ agreed to take it in trade. Fust thing I knowed, one night when I went home, I found a wagon load o’ turnips in the cellar. Mariar was hot but she’s one o’ them kind ’at never says much. Says she, “Cy, what on airth did you buy so many turnips fur?” Sez I, “I vum if I know. I told Snooks I’d take trade, but I guess I clean forgot to say what kind o’ trade.” Mariar she never said no more but jist cooked turnips every day fur about two months. Of course I dasn’t say nothin’, till one day she got dreadful pained an’ sick, an’ the doctor had to come on the run. He said she was threatened with dropisy, an’ I jist fed the rest o’ them turnips to the pigs. They kin work their spoiled truck off on the minister an’ the editor, for they can’t help theirselves, but they don’t work it off on me no more.
Takes up another pair.
By jingo, there’s an old shoe of Jake Hart’s. Know it by the way he always run ’em down. I ’low they’re not any worse run down than Jake was. Poor feller, didn’t he go to the dogs after his mother left him a fortune? Want a nicer woman in town than Mrs. Hart. But she died at the right time. Poor Jake! Best hearted feller ye ever see. I made the first pair of boots he ever had when he wasn’t higher than that. (Holds hand to show height.) His mother fetched him in. He spied a piece of red morocco; he would have that fur tops in spite of her. Jake painted everything red. Races, whiskey, bad company, an’ then shootin’ that man. Guess the man needed shootin’, but Jake had to vamoose. I wonder where he is now? Nobody’ll ever know I reckon. It’s always that way in this world, we aint missed long.
Opens an old shoe box.
What’s this? (Brushes off dust, reads, “Nellie Blake.”) Well I vum! I didn’t know that any of Nellie Blake’s shoes was here yit. (Muses.) What’ll I do with them? I can’t throw them away. She was the best girl that ever lived in this town. There aint many angels anywhere on earth, I ’low, but Nellie was one if there be any. I wonder if she would have changed if she’d have lived? No I guess she’d be the same to-day. Her an’ Jake Hart was good friends. Jined yards an’ played together. Jake went among the best then. People said he liked Nellie, fur after she died he seemed all broke up like, an’ went away with his mother to travel. I wonder if I ought to send them shoes to her mother? I don’t know, mebbe it would please her, seein’ Nellie was an only child. No, I guess it might do more harm than good. (With feeling.) I know what that is. I have a little pair of shoes out at the toes that I dasn’t show Mariar, though I know she has things of our little Jack hid away. (Gets out little shoes. Looks at them fondly, wipes his glasses with handkerchief.) These durn specs is gittin’ so I can’t see nothin’. Our little Jack! I kin see him now, runnin’ down the street to call me to dinner. He was the youngest and we took to him more than to tothers. I’ll lay away Nellie’s shoes and keep them along with Jack’s. They was friends, too. (Wipes glasses.) My specs seems awful dusty. (Looks fondly at shoes as he puts them away.) Jack is waitin’ fur Mariar an’ me. It wont be very long now till we’ll see him.
Curtain.
DENISON’S ACTING PLAYS.
Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price is Given.
| M. | F. | ||
| COMEDIES, MELODRAMAS, Etc. | |||
| All that Glitters is not Gold, 2 acts, 2 hrs. | 6 | 3 | |
| Aunt Dinah’s Pledge, temperance, 2 acts, 1 hr. | 6 | 3 | |
| Beggar Venus, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. | (25c) | 6 | 4 |
| Blow for Blow, 4 acts, 2 hrs. | 5 | 4 | |
| Bonnybell, operetta, 1 h. | (25c) | 2 | 5 |
| Caste, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. | 5 | 3 | |
| Chimney Corner, 2 acts, 1 hr. 30 min. | 5 | 2 | |
| Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs. | 7 | 4 | |
| Diplomates, 4 acts, 3 hrs. | (25c) | 5 | 5 |
| Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. | (25c) | 8 | 4 |
| Early Vows, 2 acts, 1 hr. | (25c) | 4 | 2 |
| East Lynne, 5 acts, 2 hrs. | 8 | 7 | |
| Elma, The Fairy Child, 1 hr. 45 min., operetta. | (25c) | 9 | 15 |
| Enchanted Wood (The), 1 hr. 45 min., operetta. | (35c) | 5 | 6 |
| Eulalia, 1 h. 30 min. | (25c) | 3 | 6 |
| From Sumter to Appomattox, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. | (25c) | 6 | 2 |
| Fruits of the Wine Cup, temperance, 3 acts, 1 hr. | 6 | 4 | |
| Handy Andy, Irish, 2 acts, 1 hr. 30 min. | 8 | 3 | |
| Home, 3 acts, 2 hrs. | 4 | 3 | |
| Jedediah Judkins, J.P., 4 acts, 2 hr. 30 min. | (25c) | 7 | 5 |
| Lady of Lyons, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. | 8 | 4 | |
| London Assurance, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. | 9 | 3 | |
| Lost in London, 3 acts, 1 hr. 45 min. | 6 | 3 | |
| Louva the Pauper, 5 acts, 1 hr. 45 min. | 9 | 4 | |
| Michael Erle, 2 acts, 1 hr. 30 m. | 8 | 3 | |
| Mitsu-Yu-Nissi, Japanese Wedding, 1 hr. 15 min. | 6 | 6 | |
| Money, 5 acts, 3 hrs. | 9 | 3 | |
| My Wife’s Relations, 1 hr. | 4 | 6 | |
| Not such a Fool as he Looks, 3 acts, 2 hrs. | 5 | 3 | |
| Odds with the Enemy, 5 acts, 2 hrs. | 7 | 4 | |
| Only Daughter (An), 3 acts, 1 hr. 15 min. | 5 | 2 | |
| On the Brink, temperance, 2 acts, 2 hrs. | 12 | 3 | |
| Our Country, 3 acts. 1 hr. | 10 | 3 | |
| Ours, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. | 6 | 3 | |
| Out in the Streets, temperance, 1 hr. 15 min. | 6 | 4 | |
| Pet of Parsons’ Ranch, 5 acts, 2 hrs. | 9 | 3 | |
| Pocahontas, musical burlesque, 2 acts, 1 hr. | 10 | 2 | |
| Rivals, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 45 min. | 8 | 4 | |
| School Ma’am (The), 4 acts, 1 hr. 45 min. | 6 | 5 | |
| Sea Drift, 4 acts, 2 hrs. | 6 | 2 | |
| Seth Greenback, 4 acts, 1 hr. 15 min. | 7 | 3 | |
| Shadow Castle, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. | (25c) | 5 | 4 |
| Soldier of Fortune, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 20 min. | 8 | 3 | |
| Solon Shingle 1 hr. 30 min. | 7 | 2 | |
| Sparkling Cup, temperance, 5 acts, 2 hrs. | 12 | 4 | |
| Ten Nights in a Barroom, temperance, 5 acts, 2 hrs. | 7 | 4 | |
| Ticket of Leave Man, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 45 min. | 8 | 3 | |
| Tony, the Convict, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. | (25c) | 7 | 4 |
| Toodles, 2 acts, 1 hr. 15 min. | 6 | 2 | |
| Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2¼ h. | (25c) | 8 | 3 |
| Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 1 hr. 45 min. | 5 | 4 | |
| Under the Spell, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. | (25c) | 7 | 3 |
| Wedding Trip (The), 2 acts, 1 hr. | 3 | 2 | |
| Won at Last, 3 acts, 1 hr. 45 min. | 7 | 3 | |
| Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. | 8 | 3 | |
| FARCES AND SKETCHES. | |||
| Assessor, sketch, 10 min. | 3 | 2 | |
| Babes in Wood, burlesque, 25 min. | 4 | 3 | |
| Bad Job, 30 min. | 3 | 2 | |
| Bardell vs. Pickwick, 25 min. | 6 | 2 | |
| Beautiful Forever, 30 min. | 2 | 2 | |
| Blind Margaret, musical, 30 m. | 3 | 3 | |
| Borrowing Trouble, 25 min. | 3 | 5 | |
| Breezy Call, 25 min. | 2 | 1 | |
| Bumble’s Courtship, sketch, 18 min. | 1 | 1 | |
| Cabman No. 93, 40 min. | 2 | 2 | |
| Christmas Ship, musical, 20 m. | 4 | 3 | |
| Circumlocution Office, 20 min. | 6 | 0 | |
| Country Justice, 15 min. | 8 | 0 | |
| Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 min. | 3 | 2 | |
| Cut off with a Shilling, 25 min. | 2 | 1 | |
| Deception, 30 min. | 3 | 2 | |
| Desperate Situation, 25 min. | 2 | 3 | |
| Dutchman in Ireland, 20 min. | 3 | 0 | |
| Fair Encounter, sketch, 20 m. | 0 | 2 | |
| Family Strike, 20 min. | 3 | 3 | |
| Free-Knowledge-ist, 2 acts, 25 min. | 3 | 3 | |
| Friendly Move, sketch, 20 m. | 4 | 0 | |
| Hans Von Smash, 30 min. | 4 | 3 | |
| Hard Cider, temperance, 15 m. | 4 | 2 | |
| Homœopathy, Irish, 30 min. | 5 | 3 | |
| Ici on Parle Français, 40 m. | 4 | 3 | |
| I’ll Stay Awhile, 20 min. | 4 | 0 | |
| I’m not Mesilf at All, Irish, 25 min. | 3 | 2 | |
| Initiating a Granger, 25 min. | 8 | 0 | |
| In the Dark, 25 min. | 4 | 2 | |
| In the Wrong House, 20 min. | 4 | 2 | |
| Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min. | 3 | 3 | |
| Is the Editor in? 20 min. | 4 | 2 | |
| John Smith, 30 min. | 5 | 3 | |
| Just My Luck, 20 min. | 4 | 3 | |
| Kansas Immigrants, 20 min. | 5 | 1 | |
| Kiss in the Dark, 30 min. | 2 | 3 | |
| Larkins’ Love Letters, 50 min. | 3 | 2 | |
| Limerick Boy, 30 min. | 5 | 2 | |
| Love and Rain, sketch, 20 m. | 1 | 1 | |
| Lucky Sixpence, 30 min. | 4 | 2 | |
| Lucy’s Old Man, sketch, 15 m. | 2 | 3 | |
| Mike Donovan, 15 min. | 1 | 3 | |
| Misses Beers, 25 min. | 3 | 3 | |
| Mistake in Identity, sketch, 15 min. | 0 | 2 | |
| Model of a Wife, 25 min. | 3 | 2 | |
| Movement Cure, 15 min. | 5 | 0 | |
| Mrs. Gamp’s Tea, sketch, 15 m. | 0 | 2 | |
| My Jeremiah, 20 min. | 3 | 2 | |
| My Lord in Livery, 45 min. | 4 | 3 | |
| My Neighbor’s Wife, 45 min. | 3 | 3 | |
| My Turn Next, 50 min. | 4 | 3 | |
| Narrow Escape, sketch, 15 m. | 0 | 2 | |
| Not at Home, 15 min. | 2 | 0 | |
| On Guard, 25 min. | 4 | 2 | |
| Persecuted Dutchman, 35 min. | 6 | 3 | |
| Pets of Society, 30 min. | 0 | 7 | |
| Played and Lost, sketch, 15 m. | 3 | 2 | |
| Pull Back, 20 min. | 0 | 6 | |
| Quiet Family, 45 min. | 4 | 4 | |
| Realm of Time, musical allegory, 30 min. | 8 | 15 | |
| Regular Fix, 50 min. | 6 | 4 | |
| Rough Diamond, 40 min. | 4 | 3 | |
| Row in Kitchen and Politician’s Breakfast, 2 monologues | 1 | 1 | |
| Silent Woman, 25 min. | 2 | 1 | |
| Slasher and Crasher, 1 h. 15 m. | 5 | 2 | |
| Squeers’ School, sketch, 18 m. | 4 | 2 | |
| Taming a Tiger, 20 min. | 3 | 0 | |
| That Rascal Pat, 35 min. | 3 | 2 | |
| Too Much of a Good Thing, 50 min. | 3 | 6 | |
| Turn Him Out, 50 min. | 3 | 3 | |
| Twenty Minutes Under Umbrella, sketch, 20 min. | 1 | 1 | |
| Two Bonnycastles, 45 min. | 3 | 3 | |
| Two Gay Deceivers, 25 min. | 3 | 0 | |
| Two Gents in a Fix, 20 min. | 2 | 0 | |
| Two Ghosts in White, 25 min. | 0 | 8 | |
| Two Puddifoots, 40 min. | 3 | 3 | |
| Uncle Dick’s Mistake, 20 min. | 3 | 2 | |
| Very Pleasant Evening, 30 m. | 3 | 0 | |
| Wanted a Correspondent, 1 hr. | 4 | 4 | |
| Which Will He Marry? 30 m. | 2 | 8 | |
| White Caps (The), musical, 30 min. | 0 | 8 | |
| Who Told The Lie? 30 min. | 5 | 3 | |
| Wide Enough for Two, 50 min. | 5 | 2 | |
| Women of Lowenburg, historical sketch, 5 scenes, 50 m. | 10 | 10 | |
| Woman Hater (The), 30 min. | 2 | 1 | |
| Wonderful Letter, 25 min. | 4 | 1 | |
| Wooing Under Difficulties, 35 min. | 4 | 3 | |
| Yankee Peddler, 1 hr. | 7 | 3 | |
| ETHIOPIAN FARCES. | |||
| Academy of Stars, 15 min. | 5 | 1 | |
| All Expenses: Or, Nobody’s Son, 10 min. | 2 | 0 | |
| Baby Coach Parade, 20 min. | 4 | 2 | |
| Back from Californy; Or, Old Clothes, 12 min. | 3 | 0 | |
| Deaf, In a Horn, 12 min. | 2 | 0 | |
| Hamlet the Dainty, 15 min. | 6 | 1 | |
| Handy Andy, 12 min. | 2 | 0 | |
| Haunted House, 8 min. | 2 | 0 | |
| Joke on Squinim (The), 25 m. | 4 | 2 | |
| Jumbo Jum, 30 min. | 4 | 3 | |
| Mischievous Nigger (The), 20 min. | 4 | 2 | |
| No Cure, No Pay, 10 min. | 3 | 1 | |
| Othello and Desdemona, 12 m. | 2 | 0 | |
| Prof. Black’s Funnygraph, 15 min. | 6 | 0 | |
| Quarrelsome Servants, 8 min. | 3 | 0 | |
| Rooms to Let, 15 min. | 2 | 1 | |
| Sham Doctor (The), 15 min. | 4 | 2 | |
| Sports on a Lark, 8 min. | 3 | 0 | |
| Stage Struck Darky, 10 min. | 2 | 1 | |
| Stocks Up, Stocks Down, 8 m. | 2 | 0 | |
| Tricks, 10 min. | 5 | 2 | |
| Two Pompeys (The), 8 min. | 4 | 0 | |
| Uncle Jeff, 25 min. | 5 | 2 | |
| Unhappy Pair (An), 10 min. | 3 | 0 | |
| Villikens and His Dinah 20 m. | 4 | 1 | |
| Wax Works at Play, 30 min. | 3 | 1 | |
| William Tell, 15 min. | 4 | 0 | |