Mrs. T-K. But you told me to call or write!
Topp. (Annoyed.) The same old story. You’ve called and lost valuable time and car fare. You shan’t lose anything by me! (Produces wallet.) There’s twenty dollars! (She starts. He thrusts money in her hand.) I’ll take them! (Calls.) “Dubbledam.” (Dub. appears R.) Tell Potts to drown them in the fish pond.
Mrs. T-K. (Screams.) Drown them! Oh, sir! My precious darlings! Oh, oh!—the brute! (About to swoon. Topp catches her. He is greatly embarrassed.)
Topp. Help! Dubbledam! Here’s a pretty row. And all about some puppies.
Mrs. T-K. (Suddenly recovering.) Puppies, sir! Do you insult me? Who said dogs?
Topp. You did, madam.
Mrs. T-K. Never! I was talking about my dear, darling twin boys, Twiggsie and Dixie.
Topp. Whew! Another affair truly! (Aside.) A fine woman, too! (Begins to laugh; Mrs. T-K. and Dubbledam join.) Madam, this is a most ludicrous situation. I beg your pardon.
Mrs. T-K. Oh, pray don’t mention it.
Topp. I beg a thousand pardons. How ludicrous, to be sure! Madam, I am very sorry, but I may add that I do not think now of adopting twins!