Two first cousins from families remarkably free from intemperance were ruined by intemperance. Both seemed powerless from the first indulgence to resist the habit. One was dissipated from childhood, the other did not begin until he was twenty and was a wreck in six brief years. Their grandfather was a periodic drinker. The appetite had slumbered in one generation but broke out in the next.
Love the basis of marriage.—In the choice of a life companion one should be absolutely sure that his choice is prompted by pure and unselfish love. If love in courtship and marriage is genuine it will have but one idol. Selfish interests and base desires may lead one to admire and worship more than one, but this is not love.
Chastity the basis of genuine love.—This genuine love that draws young people into beautiful courtship, happy marriage and makes them one is vitally related to the sex nature. Without sexuality this expression of the affectional nature would not be possible. When this God-honored, love-creating nature is converted into sensuality, lust, not love, reigns in courtship and marriage.
Love tested.—The genuineness of love may be tested in several ways. Whenever the choice is largely determined by financial interests or social prestige the parties are drawn to each other for selfish reasons, and not by unmixed love. If a young woman wins a companion by wearing low-necked dresses, permitting young men to hold her hands, play with her hair, kiss and caress her, by going with them to public dances, and low theatrical entertainments, she makes her appeal on the plane of the sensual. Courtship and marriage on this plane are a travesty on love. It is not always easy for the vigorous and healthy to distinguish between selfish interest, base desire and love. A good test would be for lovers to cease their calls and correspondence for ten days; meanwhile they should attend social functions and call on and accept calls from others. If they find it impossible to admire and love some other person and their love for each other remains intense and warm under these conditions, they may safely conclude that their love is genuine.
CHAPTER XLVI
PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND MORAL PREPARATION FOR PARENTAGE
The right of a child to receive good heredity.—Every child has an absolute right to be well-born. To receive a good inheritance is worth infinitely more than to be born in a palace and inherit millions in money. The prenatal period of a child is more important than any other period in its earthly life. Parents are responsible to the child, to society and to God for what they bequeath to the child at birth. The child well trained till its birth is fully half trained. If the child inherits a good basis for a strong and healthy body, mind and morals, it can make a success in life. It is true that some parents prefer leaving the physical, mental and moral possibilities of their children to providence or “blind chance,” to practicing a little self-denial. But it is certainly the desire of all thoughtful parents to have their children well-born.
Planning for the initial of a life.—The initial of every child should be intelligently planned. Only parents who have their sexual nature under control, or those who can and will bring it under control, can do this. This can be done most easily by parents who in their youth were trained to see that the primary use of the sexual energy and function is to build up and maintain perfect manhood and womanhood through life and for procreative purposes in the married life, and not for unrestricted selfish pleasure.
