desire should begin to subside. This is what occurs at this period in a man’s life.
“Change of life” in man and woman.—This occurs some six to ten years later in the male than in the female. The change is more gradual and less marked in the man than in the woman. After the “change of life” in woman, she becomes entirely sterile. If man is well-preserved, sterility in him does not take place with this change and may not until years later. In the female, the “change of life” may embrace a period of one to three or four years, and longer in some cases. In the male, the period is usually longer. In both, it is a crisis. Good or bad health, happiness or misery, a long or short life, success or failure, may be the issues of this crucial period of life. The next ten, twenty or more years of life will be largely determined by the previous life, the care taken at this time and the sexual control in the future. Woman becomes sterile at the close of this period, man does not. Most men have known of one or more old worn-out libertines who make their regular visits to houses of shame. They suppose these men to be as virile as in their youth. Men do not generally understand that these old men, who have lead a dissolute and vicious life, are often mental sex perverts even years after they are sterile and, have become impotent through loss of erectile power.
A degrading form of ignorance.—I have had scores of old men from forty-five to seventy-five, to seek personal interviews with me, whose real motives were to ascertain some way of rejuvenating their flagging sexual powers. I recall one man, a nervous wreck, over sixty, who confessed to me that each night he retired with a pad of ice about his loins for the purpose of restoring partial potency once a week. Another old man who had passed his three-quarter of a century milestone complained of his wife’s indifference and refusals, she being nearly as old as himself. Such ignorance is far less excusable and far more degrading than that of being unable to read, write or spell.
Sexual desire begins to wane.—During the menses and the nine months of gestation, the wife has little or no sexual desire. In fact her inclination is to repel every approach of the husband. During that period, known as the “change of life,” the wife has no sexual desire and naturally tries to ward off every approach of her mate. During this period the menstrual flow is sometimes frequent, almost constant. She is passing through an experience of nervous stress and mental trial. The husband should refrain from all sexual demands during this change. If they are well mated as to age, he is four, six or ten years his wife’s senior. At this age his sexual desires should be weakening. A man of this age, if normal, should experience no difficulty in living a continent life.
Not an unfortunate period.—These should not be considered unfortunate periods in life. Proper restraint at this time will bring compensations to those who understand and heed nature’s laws. If men understood that the waning of sexual desire was natural, they certainly would welcome the change and would not use various methods of stimulating and awakening sexual desire.
Minor indications.—There are several minor signs which when they occur at or near the same time indicate the presence of this change in man. They are as follows: A notable loss of memory, loss of sight, streaks of gray appearing in the hair and beard and an ease of physical and mental fatigue. One or more of these conditions often exist and are due to other causes.
Positive indications.—The most positive indications of the presence of this change in man are: longer intervals between periods of sexual desire; a less intensity of sexual desire; a greater fatigue following sexual congress; frequency of desire to urinate; slowness to begin urinating; and irritation about the neck of the bladder. If one has been pure in thought, chaste in language and clean in life, this period will be postponed to later years in life and the symptoms will be less marked.
Two advantages.—There are at least two reasons why men should welcome the waning of sexual desire when the change of life occurs. One is that the period of life, when they are capable of transmitting the best possibilities to their children has passed. The other is that they will need to conserve their sex life, with a view to thirty years more of health, happiness, activity, usefulness, a glorious sunset and a triumphant entrance into the next life.
A larger life.—A continent single and a temperate married life will make it easy for the middle-aged man to conserve his energy the balance of his days. While his bodily powers may gradually wane, the real man within will rise to a height, grandeur and majesty never before possible. We have all known and read of a few old men who never arrived at their climax of intellectual and moral greatness until they were sixty and seventy. Gladstone was greater at eighty than he was at fifty.