If parents and teachers do not possess these qualifications, what should they do?—It is their duty to prepare themselves for this service. Under present social conditions, they are not qualified to be at the head of a family, or to teach children unless they have these qualifications. Those who have these responsibilities upon them and feel that they cannot at present effectively perform these duties can secure the services of others or they can place in the hands of a child or youth a safe and interesting book containing what the child needs to know.
If a child is told these delicate truths will he not tell other children about them?—That will depend upon the nature of the child, the way he has been trained and the tact used in telling the story of life. Some children have inherited a gossipy nature and some have been unfortunately trained. They would. But most children would not seek to inform other children; they would not seek this information from the vicious when they know they could obtain the truth from parents and teachers.
THIRD DIVISION
HOW TO TEACH SOCIAL PURITY AND SEX TRUTHS TO A GIRL
CHAPTER XIII
A TALK TO MOTHERS
Similar information needed by the boy and girl.—Thus far the author has dealt with the best methods of telling the story of life to a child. These stories can be as effectively and appropriately given by one parent as by the other. Where children develop early or where they are very inquisitive, it would be well to begin earlier and tell the stories faster than you would to the other class of children. Boys and girls are neuter as to gender until they are ten and eleven years old. The information given to one may be given to the other. Carefully ascertain if your child is perfectly normal in his or her sexual organs. This is too vital to be neglected. A simple operation performed on a boy or girl when only a few days, weeks, months, or years old would often save a child from a life of impure thoughts and vicious habits.
How to satisfy morbid curiosity.—Every possible means should be used to keep small boys and girls from acquiring and cultivating morbid curiosity about the sexual organs of each other. This is not accomplished by telling them that the difference between a boy and girl is that one wears trousers and the other dresses. This can be prevented or overcome by having small boys and girls in the home both together under the mother’s watchful care. While bathing or dressing the baby, the older boys or girls may be permitted to view and admire baby’s body. In one of these ways the mother can in a perfectly natural and modest way make it possible for the children to observe the difference between boys and girls. Most likely one will ask some question pertaining to this difference. The mother can then explain that the organs of sex make the difference between boys and girls; that these organs of the boy will cause him to grow up to be a man and these organs of a girl will cause her to grow up to be a woman. The earlier in life the boy and girl becomes acquainted with this difference, the less of morbid curiosity they will develop.
The boy of ten.—When the boy reaches the tenth year he begins to look upon life from the masculine point of view and his father is his natural teacher. If the father is dead or careless the mother should see that her boy is given such information as his developing boyhood and manhood demands. The informed mother could do this herself, other mothers could have the family physician give her boy talks or she can secure suitable books that will furnish him this information. The mother should be careful to purchase for her boy only such books as are perfectly chaste, accurate and adapted to his age.
The girl of ten.—When the girl reaches her tenth and eleventh year she begins to look upon life from the feminine point of view and her mother becomes her natural teacher. But if mother is dead or indifferent the father should see that his daughter receives from himself, a lady doctor, or buy for her a good and appropriate book containing what her developing girlhood and womanhood demands.
Advantages of beginning early.—There are several advantages in beginning this instruction early; your child’s first impression regarding the organs of sex will be that they are pure and sacred, you retain your child’s confidence, and your child will feel free to come to you for future instruction. If you do not begin early your children get this information from the vicious and ignorant youths, their mind and hearts will be filled with impurity, you lose their confidence and they may reach a condition where they will not allow you or anyone else to advise them on these matters.
Wise instruction needed.—When a girl is eleven she has reached an age where her approaching womanhood demands other lines of sex instruction. The study of social questions has made rapid progress in the last ten years. There are few sincere, thoughtful parents who do not recognize the need of wise instruction in these matters for children. Wise mothers are asking, What, When and How Shall the Truth be Told?