The adolescent period.—The first distinct period of a boy’s life is his boyhood. This closes when puberty dawns. This usually occurs when he is about fourteen and a half. This is followed by a period of ten years, called adolescence. During these years he is changing from boyhood to manhood. In his feelings, thoughts, looks and ways, he resembles the boy he was and the man he is to be. In this mixed state, he is a problem. His whole after life is to be largely determined by this period. The most important part of this period is the first three years, from fourteen to seventeen. These three years are called puberty period. During these three years his sexual nature develops rapidly. Still he is much more a boy, during this period, than he is a man. This is the most critical period of a boy’s life. He is coming into possession of powers that are new to him, he does not understand them, he is not prepared by nature to control them. He needs the advice and instruction of a wise father, teacher or book at this period of his life. If a boy is wisely trained during these three years and he follows the good advice given him, there is little danger of his going wrong in the future.
A boy can live pure.—There is an idea among boys and men, that it is not best for them to live a pure life. Some of them think that doctors teach that they should gratify themselves in some way. There is not one intelligent, honorable doctor who teaches this lie. There are a few “quack” doctors, whose practice is largely among wicked men, who teach this lie. When one of these “quacks” tells a boy this, the boy tells twenty other boys and each of them whispers it to twenty more boys, and in this way many come to believe the lie. They reason like this, “If I put my arm in a sling for a year or more, I lose the use of my arm through the non-use of it. Therefore, if I do not gratify my passions, I will lose my sexual powers.” To one, who does not understand his sexual nature, this looks like good reasoning. But it will not stand the test of a simple illustration. Here is a woman who gives birth to a child when she is twenty and nurses it perfectly at her breast. This is the first time her breasts have performed this function, though they have been capable of doing so for five years. Suppose she does not become a mother again until she is forty. Again she nurses her baby as perfectly as she did the first time. But, there were nineteen years in her life, during which these glands did not feed a child. The breasts of a woman are a part of her sexual system. These organs have a double function. One is being performed all the time, day and night; that of secreting an energy that is absorbed back into her body and that adds to her strength, health and beauty. The second function is to secrete milk for her baby when she becomes a mother. The first function helps to keep her in a condition where the second function can be performed when she becomes a mother.
The sexual organs have two functions.—Now, in the case of a boy or a man, the sexual organs have a double function. The first function is to secrete a peculiar energy that is absorbed by the body. It is this energy that makes a boy a perfect boy when he is fourteen or fifteen, that changes him from a perfect boy into a perfect man, and that keeps up his perfect manhood through life. We usually speak of a boy’s sexual glands as being wholly inactive, having nothing to do until he reaches puberty. This is not true. It is true however that what we call semen is not formed by his glands until puberty. If two boys were made eunuchs, one when only a few days old and the other when puberty came, there would be quite a difference between them at the age of twenty-five. Both would be inferior men, but the second would be in many respects superior to the first. This can be explained only on the ground that the glands of the second boy formed a vital energy before puberty, and it was this energy that made the difference between them. Now we see that this first function of our sexual nature is going on all the time. It is this function that keeps the sexual system in a condition, when at the proper age and under proper conditions, the man can become a father. These illustrations absolutely show that a boy, or a young man, does not have to gratify his passions. A boy can live as pure a life as a girl.
The effects of impure thinking.—The secret of living a pure life is in controlling the mind and knowing how to use this energy. The mind has the power to stimulate many of the glands of the body to greater activity. For example, suppose that you have been hard at work for six hours, then you come into the presence of some fine fruit or a table spread with good things. What happens? Your mouth begins to water. What causes this? The sight of food. Not exactly. The sight of the food caused your mind to think of the food, to long for it. You remember how the different things taste. The longer you have to wait, the more your mouth waters. Now the philosophy of it is this, your mind is stimulating the little salivary glands in your mouth and causing them to secrete the saliva rapidly. Just now you hear some one crying, Fire! Fire! Looking through the window, you see the neighbor’s building is on fire. You rush over and for one hour you try to put out the flames, save some property or someone’s life. Your mind is wholly withdrawn from all thought of food. During that hour your salivary glands secrete just enough saliva to keep your mouth moist, perhaps the heat and labor left your mouth dry. Now you return home and your attention is called back to the food. Again the saliva is formed rapidly, ten or twenty times as fast as while you were fighting the fire. Now, when a boy has impure thoughts in relation to his sexual organs, the mind stimulates passion. If he is under the age of puberty, constant passion will injure his nervous system, lead him to form the secret sin and will misdirect that energy so that he will fail to be a perfect boy, when puberty dawns. After puberty dawns, impure thinking and all impure states of the mind will so stimulate the sexual glands that they will secrete more semen than the body can absorb. What cannot be absorbed will in some way be wasted from the body. It is in this way that boys become imperfect men. Nothing that a boy can do is more important than for him to keep his mind pure. Two things will help him; a Christian life and a strong will. One is a gift; the other must be cultivated.
Ways of using up this energy.—It is very important for a boy or young man to know how to use this energy. We know that if this energy is wasted, it leaves the body weak, makes the mind stupid and hurts us morally. We have learned that when this energy is retained, our physical strength is increased, our minds are more alert and our moral natures develop better. This shows that this energy can be directed to these parts of our being. How is this to be done? Let a boy who is conscious of sexual desire, tempted to practice the secret sin, take a brisk walk for three or four miles and his passion is gone. What became of it? He directed the energy to his muscles and expressed it in labor. Here is another boy with passion, he too is tempted to waste this energy. He has a hard lesson in mathematics. Let him will to take his mind off sex and force it to solve those problems. In an hour or two passion is gone. What became of it? This time he directed it to his brain and it increased his mental power. Here is another boy. His body is healthy and strong, his mind is bright, but he is cold, unkind, unsympathetic and indifferent to the claims of the needy. He has passion and is tempted to waste his energy. What should he do? Let him spend an hour loving the unlovely, boosting the discouraged, speaking kind words and doing noble deeds and his passion will be gone. What became of it? He built his energy into his sentiments, feelings and moral nature.
The meaning of passion.—The consciousness of passion is the voice of nature telling you that you have an extra supply of creative energy on hand, that you can use in performing physical, mental and moral service. If this energy is wasted, it will unfit you to perform the service. It is for you to decide what use you will make of this energy. Would you prefer momentary pleasure? Then, you can find it in sexual gratification. But you should remember that pay-day comes later. Inferior manhood, disease, suffering, sorrow, regret and failure lie in the road of all who live in vice. Only perverted ideals and views of life would lead one to seek pleasure on the plane of an animal. Man’s highest, truest and sweetest pleasures come from the consciousness of perfect physical, mental and moral development. Self-management, self-control, self-government will keep us in harmony with nature and God and result in true happiness and success.
CHAPTER XXV
FATHER’S FIFTH TALK—THE TRUE YOUNG KNIGHT
The true young knight.—A true young knight is a boy, or young man, who is strong, brave, ambitious, intelligent, gallant and pure. The knights of the Middle Ages were strong men. They practiced athletics, took their outdoor sports and were proud of their physical strength. In those days, one with a weak, defective body could not be a knight. They were also, brave men. They would die for what they believed to be right. They were very gallant toward women. They would offer every courtesy and respect to girlhood, womanhood, wifehood and motherhood. They had to be pure men to be strong, brave, gallant and manly. A knight would die in defense of womanhood.
The purpose of this chapter is to inspire you to become a true knight in your social relations with girls and ladies. The proper social relations of boys and girls, men and women, is one of the best ways of developing the social side of our lives, of improving the mind and strengthening our moral natures. God has made us social beings. He wants us to enjoy life.