If motherhood does not expose her sin.—If this betrayal does not result in her becoming a mother, and her betrayer does not expose her sin to the public, her problems will be much more easily solved. But, even if she is so fortunate as to escape motherhood and her betrayer does not boast to others of what he has done, yet no pen can portray, no rhetoric can describe and no imagination can conceive her fearful dreams, her fevered memories and her agonies of remorse.
If motherhood does expose her sin.—The gravest problems arise where the girl is to become a mother. To shield herself and to save her family from disgrace, her first thought will be to use some means to rid herself of the unborn life. In this awful hour of conscious guilt, mental bewilderment and soul agony the girl would gladly welcome death in any form rather than face the inevitable exposure that awaits her. God only knows how many girls commit suicide and how many mysterious deaths might be explained by this cause. Where they succeed in destroying the unwelcome life, physical health is often wrecked. But suppose that death or ill health does not follow, what must be the effects on the mind and soul that follow this cold-blooded act of willful prenatal murder.
If her lover refuses marriage, she should confess to her mother.—It is not to be wondered at that so many girls, when deceived in a love affair, rather than face unforgiving parents, a cold and heartless world, a social condition that excuses in man what is an unpardonable sin in woman, choose a life of immorality in a house of shame. This unkindness, this injustice, this down-right cruelty toward woman is a relic of savagery that clings on to civilization with a tenacity that even Christianity has thus far failed to eradicate. Until the truth of a “White life for two” frees us from this monster of injustice, what should the wronged girl do? To commit suicide, to murder her unborn child, to run away from home and give herself over to an immoral life only adds greater sins to the one already committed. Poor, weak, ignorant, confiding girl, her lot is now a hard one. If there were anything remotely akin to manhood in her betrayer, he would now do the only thing he can do that is right—marry her. If he refuses, then she should at once go to her parents and make the most humiliating confession a human being can make. It may require more effort to do this than to try to solve the problem in any other way, but usually this is best. Sometimes the parents will pity and forgive, sometimes they will cast her out. The last should never be true. Could the parents only realize how much of her fall was due to their lack of proper education, how much was due to passion they may have bequeathed her, they would not cast her out from home at such a time.
Homes for the unfortunate girls.—Her parents, brothers and sisters have social rights that must be respected. For her to remain at home during her sickness would attract unnecessary attention to the event and subject innocent members of the family to needless humiliation due to the ridicule and scorn of the neighbors. There are homes in all our large cities for the unfortunate girl where she can spend a few months before and after the birth of her child. Should the child be still-born, or die soon after birth, by going away from home, she and her family may be shielded from the curiosity and scorn of the friends and neighbors.
She should be true to her child.—New problems arise if her child lives. Most young illegitimate mothers give their children over to some “Home Finders Institution.” Circumstances may sometimes justify, or seem to justify, this disposition of the child. The child is bone of her bone, blood of her blood, life of her life. She is largely responsible for bringing the innocent, helpless child into the world; she should not add to her personal sin and to her sin against the child by deserting and leaving it to the cold mercies of a selfish, unsympathetic world. If her parents sympathize with and forgive her, they will most likely have her return to their home with the child. The women of the community will circulate the scandal on her return until they wear all the reports thread-bare. But the girl must make up her mind to face this, live an ideal life and endure the sneers until she lives it down. This will be a severe trial, but she will have a chance to show the world what a beautiful life a wronged woman can live when given a half chance.
If driven from home.—If her parents drive her from home, her experience becomes the bitterest known to a human being. But she should not despair. He who said to the woman, “caught in the act,” “go and sin no more” is ever ready to help bear her burdens and speak to her the same words of forgiveness and cheer. In all large cities there are “Homes for the Friendless,” where friendless girls may go without charge until after they recover from confinement.
A real living incident.—I will tell you a real, living incident which is only one among many of the human tragedies, with shifting variations, occurring annually in nearly every community, enacted upon the dramatic stage of modern society’s double standard of morals. A young lady of twenty-four years, a teacher in a city high school, during a revival became deeply concerned about her spiritual interests. After seeking Christ for some four days, she said to her spiritual adviser: “I am in great trouble. I can’t get to God in the condition I am in. Since the death of my father and only brother, you are the only person to whom I have felt that I could confide matters of such a personal and delicate nature as I feel compelled to relate to you. Since I came to your city four years ago, I have assumed the title of ‘Mrs,’ allowing widowhood to be inferred. I have never been married. I am wearing the name of the man, who by every possible moral right should have married me and been a true husband to me. I am a mother and my little girl of six summers is wearing the name of her father, which civil law says she has no right to wear. My mother, sisters, relatives and former friends all are under the impression that I am divorced.
“If I become a Christian, I want to unite with the church. If I give the name I am now wearing to be placed on the church register, I shall be living and practicing a lie. If I give my maiden name, I shall expose my mistake, bring disgrace upon my family, brand my child with illegitimacy, and lose my position as a teacher, whereby I make my living, support my child and am able to live a pure life. What must I do?”
The person to whom she related this story was greatly perplexed for an answer. Though a godly man, a minister, the double standard of morals had so biased his thinking that he was not prepared to give her a fair and just answer.
Hoping that additional light might help him out of his dilemma, he asked her to tell him what led to her fall.