Another example.—Only a few days since a young man called at my office for an interview. His story was, “Three years ago I was induced by other boys to visit the ‘Red Light’ district of this city. On my second visit I was infected with gonorrhea. My income was small. The doctor’s fees were beyond my reach. I tried patent remedies sold in drug stores guaranteed to cure the worst case in three to five days. Failing to cure myself in this way I was compelled to go to doctors. At times I seem to be cured. Then I make another visit and the old trouble comes back on me. This has been repeated three times in two years. I am now in a worse shape than I have ever been.” He then asked my advice. I told him to select the most reliable doctor he could find, and regardless of price take his treatment until he was pronounced cured. Then twice a year for several years, to have a State Health Board to make a microscopic examination. If they find no gonococci for two or three years, he might consider himself well. But marriage will then be a risky proposition.
These two recent cases are selected from a thousand experiences related to me in the last five years, many of which were far worse than these. The reader can judge for himself whether or not these diseases are no worse than a “bad cold.”
CHAPTER XXXIX
A YOUNG MAN’S ETHICS
You have a social nature.—This nature should be developed. Boys and girls, men and women, are complements of each other. Every boy needs a sister and every girl needs a brother. It is a good thing for boys and girls of different families to be schoolmates and occasionally to engage together in games. Where co-educational colleges are wisely managed, young men and women develop socially in a more normal way than when they are separated. The matured young man is never quite himself until he finds his mate. The same can be said with equal force of the matured woman.
Relation of the social and sex natures.—The social nature of an eunuch has been arrested in its development to such an extent that he appears to be without a social nature. He does not attract the opposite sex, admires no woman, has no interest in children, and does not care to mingle with people in a social way. The secret sin often causes a young man to be exceedingly indifferent and to shun the company of young women.
These facts show clearly that there is a vital relation between the sexual nature and the social nature. If developed and kept normal, they will contribute much to the enjoyment of life. Like all great blessings they have their dangers. Whatever, in the social relations of young men and women, leads to the excitement of the sexual instinct means danger, temptations and ofttimes social disaster. Almost all men have either inherited or acquired a strong tendency toward easy sexual excitement. Most young men are ignorant of their weakness and the laws of sexual excitement. In these regards the birds and lower animals are much truer to nature than is, degenerate, man. Among them the sexual exciting relations, preparatory to the reproductive act, are never indulged in by the male except during the mating season. The lower animals never violate these laws of normal sexual excitement.
A pernicious custom.—Many young men, ignorant of these laws, prompted by an over-developed sexual condition, have the habit of pinching the arms of girls, patting their cheeks and chins, squeezing their hands, playing with the hair, hugging and kissing them, and other indiscreet and dangerous habits. These relations are known by modern society as “spooning.” It is seriously common. It is more dangerous to physical, sexual, mental and moral health than the secret sin or prostitution. It is the kindergarten for both. Few young people would ever fall were it not for these pernicious and foolish customs.
You should treat every young lady as you would have other young men treat your sister. You should have a correct knowledge of these laws and by an intelligent choice and a manly, strong purpose, refuse ever to engage with young women in any social relation that would endanger your honor or their virtue.
Friendship and love.—For a number of years you may for social reasons wish to call occasionally on one or more girls for whom you will entertain only thoughts of friendship. However, friendship occasionally assumes a more serious turn and is transformed mysteriously into love. If this love is natural, prompted by your paternal nature, approved by your reason and judgment, no mistake will be made. Love can be blinded by lust, paralyzed by wealth and hypnotized by beauty and in either event, marriage would be a failure.
A good wife is a helpmate.—If a young man has perfect control of his sex nature, I would not advise marriage before he is twenty-three or four. If he has a few hundred dollars ahead, a good education, or a good paying position, has good health and has found the girl of his choice, he should not postpone marriage until he has accumulated more. A good wife is a helpmate.