If a young woman is not a virgin should she be expected to confess this to her lover?—If it were customary for men to make such confessions, then it would be fair for a woman to do the same. Since men do not consider it wise or necessary for them to confess their sins before or after marriage, they should not expect this of women. If the question of virtue is raised, let the innocent party introduce it.
If the arm is not exercised it becomes helpless, withered and weak. If a young man should remain single for five to ten years and live a continent life, will not his sexual organs lose their function, wither and atrophy?—These questions appear to present a most perfect analogy. Based on the information the average young man is supposed to have, even if he be a college or university graduate, not one out of a hundred could extricate himself from the conclusion, that he must reach, viz., continence in the single life leads to a loss of the reproductive powers and to atrophy of parts. When we consider that this is the argument of the immoral doctor, the ignorant and the vicious, the classes to whom young men of the past have been compelled to go for all their sex information, it is not surprising that almost all young men hold to the “sex necessity lie.” In the past, ministers, teachers and parents have not been in possession of facts with which to combat this sexual heresy.
The solution of this problem lies in the fact that the male and female organs of reproduction have two functions. One is a continuous and regular function, taking place day and night, asleep and awake. The other is a periodic and special function. To illustrate: The breasts of a woman are a part of her reproductive system. A married woman becomes a mother for the first time at the age of twenty. She nurses her babe at her breasts. This function is called lactation. But, it would have been possible for her to become a mother at fifteen and to nurse her child. Then, there were five years during which she did not perform the function of lactation, and yet, she did not lose this function. Suppose she does not become a mother the second time until she is forty. Again her breasts perform this special function as perfectly as they did the first time. But, remember, there were nineteen years during which she did not perform this function, and yet, she did not lose this function. The other sexual organs of a woman have special and periodic functions, such as, menstruation and ovulation. The normal performance of these special functions is determined by their general and continuous function.
If the female sexual glands, ovaries and breasts, were removed from a girl in her infancy, she would never develop the indescribable physical, mental and social charms of ideal womanhood. If these glands were removed at any other age under forty, she would lose in physical, mental and moral tone. This illustrates the nature of the general and continuous function of these organs. This function consists in these organs generating an internal secretion which, if not interfered with, will build and maintain a perfect womanhood. This continuous function gives constant activity to these organs; keeps them healthy and strong and prevents the loss of their special function, that of motherhood.
Day and night, asleep and awake, the male sexual glands are generating an internal secretion which, if retained in the body, will build and maintain perfect manhood. It is this continuous function that gives constant activity to these organs, keeps them healthy and strong and prevents the loss of their special function of reproduction.
What effect upon his sex problems has a young man’s keeping company with young women?—We have a social nature. It should be normally developed. The sex nature and the social nature are vitally related. Improper social relations lead to sensuality and proper social relations lead to purity of manhood and womanhood.
If a young man would develop an ideal social nature, he should to a reasonable extent, associate with modest, discreet and chaste young women. This is natural and in every way helpful. If a young man who has sexual weakness, due to youthful indiscretions, purposes reform and desires to regain his manhood, he will find association with young women of the above type to be very helpful. The normal young man, as well as the sexually weak, should studiously avoid association with girls whose actions, conversation or dress suggests impure thought.
What is the relation of “spooning” to a young man’s sex problems?—A single example of “spooning” will answer this question. January 19, 1912, a college young man, in a personal interview, explained that since April 14th he had been completely impotent and wanted to know of me, if there was any hope for him to have his manhood restored. I assured him that there was. He then asked me what he must do. My reply was, “That depends upon what you have been doing.” I found that he had been guilty of the secret vice and prostitution to only a limited degree. Convinced that these habits would not explain his condition, I said to him, “The trouble is in your mind. You have in some way aroused and maintained a high state of sexual excitement for hours at a time and over a period of months or years. Can you explain?” He confessed that for nearly two years he had spent two or three hours, two or three times a week, in company with a girl friend who permitted him to hold her hands, play with her hair, pat her cheeks and chin, kiss, caress and even fondle her breasts, but absolutely refused to permit further advances. Then I explained to him how this intense sexual excitement had brought on varicocele, loss of sexual power and spermatorrhea.
Spooning is a growing evil. It is more injurious than the secret sin. Our suggestive post cards, pictures on billboards, novels and serial stories, and the moving pictures in five and ten cent shows are all giving young people the idea that spooning is natural and expected as a part of the entertainment, when a young man calls to see his “best girl.”
The girl who permits spooning will lose many of her personal physical charms. The eyes that once sparkled with intelligence and glowed with luster become lusterless, stupid and sunken; the cheeks once rosy and plump become pale and poor; the handshake that was once warm and full of life, is now cold and lifeless. Health is gone. She ends her days in heart trouble, wrecked nerves or consumption.