But with the passing away of these days of barbarous forays, passed away the need of any such arrangement; if indeed any good ever was accomplished by it. Certainly, much mischief has been wrought and foul injustice sanctioned by it, for many centuries.
An arrangement so well calculated to foster selfishness and arrogance, so long established, produced its legitimate fruit. Since at his father's death every thing, or nearly so, would come under his control, the eldest son became the one important member of his family. As his mother could have but her interest on the third of the value of the estate, unless specially provided for by marriage settlement, she necessarily became dependent upon him who inherited the estate; and therefore the lad, even while a lad, was constantly deferred to, until he deemed himself superior to the rest of his family. The elder members of a family might have been girls, and, there being no boys, might have arrived at the conclusion that the property of their father might be theirs; but a boy born late in the life of their father would sweep away the delusion, and leave them to poverty. Eldest sons have been known to send their brothers and sisters out into the world penniless, and sell from over their mothers' heads the homes in which they had hoped to die, obliging them to subsist or starve, as they might, upon their meagre "thirds." Whether justice to mother or children was done or not, depended entirely upon this one boy. And this was the brightest side of primogeniture. In cases of entailed property, very often the entail specified that it was to go to the heir male for all time. A father in this case, dying without a son, could do nothing besides willing to these girls such loose property as he might have acquired independently of his estate. It might revert to his daughter's most bitter enemy; it was not in his power to help it.
From the hour of a woman's birth to her death, there is a continuous system of belittling her, which, if it does not succeed in destroying her self-respect, thus teaching her that she may, as her only means of retaliation, allow herself in any little meanness which may occur to her, is so galling to that self-respect, that the wonder is that her very nature has not become revolutionized. But women have so long been trained in this school, that they have, to a large extent, adopted the language expressive of their own inferiority, if not the sentiment itself.
Emma and John, as children, play together; Emma aged five and John three years respectively. Their toys are suited to their sex—Emma's a doll, John's a toy carriage and ponies. For a time all goes on harmoniously; they use each other's toys indiscriminately; for as yet their minds have not been contaminated by outside influences. By and by, as will come in play, both children wish entire possession of the same toy. There is a contest, and John appeals to mother: "Emma has my carriage, and won't give it up." "For shame!" says mother, "Emma, give John his toy directly. Don't you know that a carriage with ponies is a toy for little gentlemen? Besides, if you are good, when you both grow up perhaps he will give you a ride with real carriage and live ponies." Awed by the command, and charmed by the distant prospect of the actual ride, the little girl—as indeed she ought—gives up the toy, and peace is restored for the time. But presently a shrill cry is heard: "Johnnie's rubbing all the paint off my dolly's cheeks. He won't give her to me. O, he has broken her arm." The mother's reply to this cry is stern and sharp. "Don't be so cross with your little brother." Then to John. "O, John, you ought not to have broken sister's pretty dolly; it wasn't half so nice as your own little carriage and ponies. Why didn't you play with them? Boys should be gentlemen. Emma is only a little girl;" with a tone emphatic of inferiority upon the word girl. "Little boys should never stoop to play with girl's toys." Later on, where a girl's enjoyment is in a measure provided for in connection with her brother, he is made almost invariably the purse-bearer. What she has is of his generosity. Girls must be yielding, submissive, and dependent, as becomes their sex. Boys may be overbearing or rough; it is a sign of a manly spirit to be so.
Thus arrogance and injustice is fostered in the boy, and a sense of wrong begotten in the girl; the one is degraded in her own eyes, and in the eyes of her brother; the other is elevated above his just level in his own eyes and his sister's; and heart-burning and jealousies engendered that often last through life. A girl may hardly choose her own husband. Her father, brother, or some friend will introduce some eligible party. She is an undutiful girl if—when he honors her by asking her hand—she do not thankfully consent. To the credit of humanity be it said, that girls have more liberty of choice in this respect than they had formerly. There is still room for improvement. The sooner match-making and match-makers die out, the better for the world. If man or woman make a mistake in marrying unfortunately, and in consequence suffer unhappiness, let those more fortunately situated, pity and be kind to the sufferer; but let none incur the responsibility of having made such a match.
FOOTNOTES:
By recent legislation in Ontario, she is deprived of her right of dower in wild lands.