‘In the upper provinces, the ladies and gentlemen, at least among the Sheeaus,[[5]] generally eat together; but in Bengal this is not the case; there the wife does not even presume to eat in the husband’s presence, and never partakes of any of his amusements. In the upper provinces the social qualities are better understood; for when the company consists of persons admissible into the zenanah, they all go in; the men and women dine together, and, in general, sit on opposite sides. The ladies, like ours, indulge in tiffings, (slight repasts,) it being delicate to eat but little before company.
[5]. A particular cast, or sect.
‘When there is an assemblage of fair visitors, the husband seldom enters the zenanah, that he may not disturb their amusements, which, when unobserved by men, take a free range. The wife never mentions her husband by name. This respect, as it is termed, is reciprocal. Indeed, people in general avoid addressing each other by name, substituting some title; as ‘your ladyship;’ or by the name of a favorite child, as ‘William’s mother;’ or by a periphrasis. It is so strictly observed by some wives, that they would not mention an indifferent matter by the same name as their husband is called by. Should, for instance, the husband’s name be ‘Year,’ the wife would say, ‘I am sixteen twelvemonths old,’ rather than sixteen ‘years.’ However, this excessive nicety will only be found among villagers.
‘Some ladies pride themselves much in the arts of needle-work and cookery: excellence in the former being deemed a good criterion to form a judgment of a lady’s education: a wife, therefore, who did not take upon herself the whole internal management of the household, would be held in great disrepute. They are, in general, allowed a certain sum yearly for cloaths, and all expences of the house within doors, from which, by good management, they often save considerable sums of money, and, in times of distress, when the inconsiderate husband thinks his all is gone, often does his wife relieve his distresses from her little treasury.
‘In addition to the established allowance, there are other fixed sums appropriated. In their holidays, which frequently occur, dinner is always dressed within the zenanah, except upon occasions of great feasts and entertainments, when, of course, the arrangement must be made by men. When only a few friends are expected, the wife, being informed of their number and rank, issues her orders accordingly, through her female attendants, to the male servants of the house. The education of the daughters, and sons also, whilst young, is entirely entrusted to the mother. Should one of the former forget those lessons of chastity, and of correctness of behaviour, which it is her mother’s constant solicitude to impress on her mind; nay, should her conduct even be such as to create suspicion; immediate death from the hand of the parent would be the consequence. I am speaking here of rather the higher orders; for people in the middle ranks of life are more restrained in their conduct, more within the reach of the law, and, besides, the point of honor which acts with such force in high-minded families, loses its impetus with them.—Such is the influence the women possess in Hindostan, that, whenever Soonees and[and] Sheeaus[[6]] intermarry, (a circumstance not unusual,) the children are always instructed in the tenets of the mother, and often their first prattle consists in a ridicule of their father’s faith.
[6]. Two different sects of the Mahomedan religion.