‘On the third night, when the bridegroom arrives to carry home the bride, he is annoyed by a thousand tricks, passed on him by the servants and other dependants. For instance, the darwan, or porter, shuts the door on him, and, until he supplicates much, and pays well, there is no admittance for him. Some mount his horse, others seize his shoes, &c. none of which are returned till the parties possessing them receive considerable presents, and have had the pleasure of raising a laugh against the bridegroom.
‘After conquering these obstacles, he is introduced to the company that has assembled, and obtains, in honor of the day, the first seat in the assembly. The contract is now drawn up, as prescribed by the laws. Two persons are appointed as the vaqueels, (or attornies,) of the parties. The questions being now put to the bride, as she stands concealed behind the curtain, whether she chooses him as her vaqueel?[[34]] and whether she is willing to enter into the proposed contract or not? After some little delay, to give the appearance of consultation to what has been already arranged, she gives assent to both questions, uttering, in a voice scarcely audible, the final, I had almost said fatal, “Yes.” (In Bengal, silence gives consent). The two servants who led the vaqueel to the curtain, certify the circumstance of her assent.
[34]. Vakeel, as it is pronounced, literally means ambassador, deputy or other locum tenens but here is meant to imply protector, advocate, trustee.
‘The vaqueels and relations, on both sides, now proceed to fix on the mahir, (or portion;) the adjustment of which sometimes occasions much altercation and delay; nay, it has even been the cause of much bloodshed, and of total suspension of the ceremonies; but, in general, an umpire is fixed on to determine on a medium sum, which is inserted in the cabala, or marriage contract, between the extravagant demands on the bridegroom, and his unwillingness to comply therewith.
‘The bridegroom is then conducted by the female attendants into the presence of the bride, who sits veiled, on a place raised on purpose, in her own apartment. The meeraseens lead him up, and seat him near her. The females of the family, who stand behind a curtain, send him a present of gold mohurs, rupees, &c. The Koran is now placed between the couple, and a looking-glass is placed immediately opposite the bride, who, on modestly refusing to unveil, is forced thereto by the attendant meeraseens, so that one ray, as my author expresses it, from her fine countenance, may illumine the mirror, towards which all the bridegroom’s attention is fixed: however, this ray, transient as it is, cannot be obtained without considerable presents to the meeraseens.
‘This part of the ceremony being concluded, permission is given to the bridegroom to convey the bride home: her parents send with her great quantities of cloaths, jewels, bedding, cooking utensils, &c.; and, in short, every thing she can possibly want for years; nay, frequently, as long as she lives. The bridegroom and his female relations lift up the bride in their arms, and convey her to the palanquin. On their arrival at his house, the bearers, or carriers of the palanquin, refuse to set down their burthen until bribed to do so. The bridegroom takes her out of it, and conveys her, in his arms, into an apartment of the house, where, her feet being bathed with rose-water, the bridegroom repeats a thanksgiving prayer, in gratitude for her safe arrival, and for his own deliverance from this scene of harassment, and trouble, which his friends and servants force him to submit to, from the time he quits his own house until he returns to it with his bride: such, indeed, are the effects of his sufferings, that often the unhappy gentleman cannot hold up his head for some days to come.
‘On the following morning, the cloaths in which the bride slept are sent to her parents; a strange, indelicate custom, and highly indicative of a total want of refinement among the people who practise it. In the province of Bengal, this is not done; nay, so particular are they in avoiding the appearance of any thing of this kind, that the bridal bed, with all its appurtenances, is of a deep red. This day, being the fourth from the commencement of the ceremonies, the bride and bridegroom return to her parents’ house, where he has admission into the assembly of the women; and on this day the bride appears in garments furnished by him. (This visit, in Bengal, is not made till the fifth day after consummation). In this assembly, the bridegroom suffers by a general assault of the ladies, who unmercifully pelt him with fruit, flowers, &c.
‘On every Friday, for several weeks, the bride pays a similar visit to her parents; receiving, at each visit, a new dress. On these occasions, she never returns home until the husband’s relations wait on her, and entreat her to do so. For a month, at least, after the marriage, she would be considered as deficient in modesty were she to address her husband with her face uncovered: and a considerable time elapses before she appears unveiled to her other relations. She never speaks of her husband, in the presence of men, until she becomes a mother. It is a curious circumstance, that her own relations, ever after the marriage, avoid visiting at her husband’s house, under the fastidious apprehension of being suspected of having bestowed the lady from motives of interest.