6. Of his telling the Samaritan Woman her Fortune of having had five Husbands, and being then an Adulteress with another Man.
Whether I have not prov'd the Storys of these Miracles, either in whole or in part, to consist of Absurdities, Improbabilities, and incredibilities, according to the Proposition before us, I leave my Readers to judge; and now will take in Hand
7. A Seventh Miracle of Jesus; viz. that[145] of his cursing the Figtree, for not bearing Fruit out of Season; which Miracle, upon the bare mention of it, appears to be such an absurd, foolish, and ridiculous, if not malicious and ill-natured Act in Jesus, that I question, whether, for Folly and Absurdity, it can be equalled in any Instance of the Life of a reputed wise Man. The Fathers, such as Origen, St. Augustin, St. John of Jerusalem, and others, have all said as smart Things, as the wittiest Infidels can, against the Letter of this Story. St. Augustin[146] very plainly says, that this Fact in Jesus, upon Supposition that it was done, was a foolish one. If therefore I treat this Story a little more ludicrously than ordinary, and expose the Folly of the Fact as well as of the modern Belief of it, I hope their Authority and Example will plead my Excuse for it.
Jesus was hungry, it seems, and being disappointed of Figs, to the Satisfaction of his Appetite, cursed the Figtree. Why so peevish and impatient? Our Divines, when they please, make Jesus the most patient, resign'd and easy under Sufferings, Troubles and Disappointments, of any Man. If he really was so, he could hardly have been so much out of Humour, for want of a few Figs, to the Allay of his Hunger. But to curse the Figtree upon it, was as foolishly and passionately done, as for another Man to throw the Chairs and Stools about the House; because his Dinner is not ready at a critical Time, or before it could be got ready for him.
But Jesus was hungry, some will say, and the Disappointment provoked him. What if he was hungry? He should, as he knew the Return of his Appetite, have made a better and more certain Provision for it. Where was Judas his Steward and Caterer with his Bag of Victuals as well as Money? Poor Forecast, and Management amongst them, or Jesus had never trusted to the uncertain Fruits of a Figtree, which he espy'd at a Distance, for his Breakfast.
And if Jesus was frustrated of a long'd-for Meal of Figs, what need he have so reveng'd the Disappointment on the[147] senseless and faultless Tree? Was it, because he was forc'd to fast longer than usual and expedient? not so, I hope neither: Could not Angels, if he was in a desert Place, have administered unto him? Or could not he miraculously have created Bread for himself and his Company, as he multiplied or increased the Loaves for his Thousands in the Wilderness? What Occasion then for his being out of Humour for want of Food? If he was of Power to provide Bread for others on a sudden, he might sure have supply'd his own Necessities, and so have kept his Temper, without breaking into a violent Fit of Passion, upon present Want and Disappointment.
But what is yet worse, the Time of Figs was not yet, when Jesus look'd and long'd for them. Did ever any one hear or read of any thing more[148] unreasonable than for a Man to expect Fruit out of Season? Jesus could not but know this before he came to the Tree, and if he had had any Consideration, he would not have expected Figs on it, much less, if he had regarded his own Reputation, as a wise Man, would he have so resented the Want of them. What, if a Yeoman of Kent should go to look for Pipins in his Orchard at Easter, (the supposed Time[149] that Jesus sought for these Figs) and, because of a Disappointment, cut down all his Trees; What then would his Neighbours make of him; Nothing less, than a Laughing-stock; and if the Story got into our publick News, he would be the Jest and Ridicule of Mankind. How Jesus salv'd his Credit upon this his wild Prank; and prevented the Laughter of the Scribes and Pharisees upon it, I know not; but I cannot think of this Part of the Letter of this Story, without smiling at it at this Day; and wonder our Divines are not laugh'd out of Countenance for reading it gravely, and having Jesus in Admiration for it.
Again, I would gladly know, whose Figtree this was, and whether Jesus had any legal Right to the Fruit, if haply he had found any on it, or any Leave or Authority to smite it with a Curse for its Unfruitfulness? As to the Tree's being Jesus's Property, that could not be. For he was so far from being either Landlord or Tenant, that it's said he had not where to lay his Head. During the Time of his Ministry, he was but a Wanderer, like a Mendicant Fryar, or an itinerant Preacher, and before that Time was no better than a Journeyman Carpenter (of whose Workmanship, I wonder, the Church of Rome has no holy Relicks, not so much as a Three-footed-stool, or a Pair of Nutcrackers;) consequently he had no House nor Land of his own by Law, much less any Figtree, and least of all this which he espy'd at a distance in his Travels. How then had he any Right to the Figs, if he had met with any? I hope he ask'd Leave beforehand of the Proprietor, or Infidels will say of him, that if he had had an Opportunity he would have been a Rob-Orchard. And it he had no Right to the Fruit, much less to smite the Tree with a Curse; where was his Honour,[150] his Justice, his Goodness, and his Honesty in this Act? The Evangelists, if they would have us to think, Jesus did no wrong to any Man, should have left us somewhat upon Record, to Satisfaction, in this Case; or Infidels, who have here Scope for it, will think worse of Jesus, than possibly he may deserve. Whether Jesus, modestly speaking, met with any Blame or Reprimand from the Proprietor, for his Act of Execration, none can affirm or deny. But if any one so spitefully and maliciously should destroy almost any other Tree, whether fruitful or not, of another Man's, in this Country, he would have good Luck, if he escaped the House of Correction for it.
And what now have our Divines to say, to all this Reasoning against the Letter of this Story? Nothing more than "That the Act of cursing the Figtree, whether it be at this Distance of Time reconcilable to Reason, Justice and Prudence or not, was a supernatural Work, above the Power of Nature or Art to imitate; consequently it was a Miracle, and they will admire and adore Jesus for it." And to agree with them at present, that it was a real Miracle, and a supernatural Event, yet I hope, they'll acknowledge, that if Jesus, as St. Augustin[151] says, had, instead of cursing the Figtree, made a dry, dead and withered one, immediately to bud, flourish and revive, and in an Instant to bring forth ripe Fruits, out of Season, it would have pleased them much better. Such an Instance of his Power had been an indisputable Miracle: Such an Instance of his divine Power had carry'd Goodness along with it, and none of the foresaid Exceptions could have been made to it: Such an Instance of his Almighty Power, had been a Demonstration of his being Lord of the Creation, and Author of the Fruits of the Earth for the Use of Man, in their Season, or he could not have produced them out of Season: In such an Instance of Power, his Divine Care and Providence against Hunger and Want would have been visible; and it would have been an Admonition to us, to depend daily upon him for the Comforts and Necessaries of Life: Such an Instance of his Power would have been, as St. Augustin says above, like his Miracles of healing Diseases, of making the Languid, Sound; and the Feeble, Strong; and we might more certainly have inferr'd from one with the other, that both were the Operations of a good God. But this Instance of his cursing the Figtree in this Fashion spoils the Credit, and sullies the Glory of his other Miracles. It is in its own Nature of such a malevolent Aspect, that its enough to make us suspect the Beneficence of Christ in his other Works, and to question whether there might not be some latent Poyson and diabolical Design under the Colour of his fairer Pretences to Almighty Power. It is so like the malignant Practices of Witches, who, as Stories go, upon Envy, Grudge, or Distaste, smite their Neighbours Cattle with languishing Distempers, till they die, that it's hard, if not impossible, to distinguish one from the other, in Spite and Malice. If Mahomet, and not Jesus, had been the Author of this Miracle, our Divines would presently have discover'd the Devil's Foot in it, and have said that Satan drew him into a Scrape, in the Execution of this mad and foolish Frolick, on purpose to expose him for a Wizard and his Musselmen of all Ages since for Fools in believing on him. The Spirit of Christ, who is all Love and Mercy, should, one would think, breath forth nothing but Goodness and Kindness to Mankind; but that such a pestilential Blast, like a mortiferous North-East Wind in some Seasons, should proceed from his Mouth, to the Destruction of another Man's harmless and inoffensive Tree, is what none upon Earth can account for.
Our Divines, one or other of them, have publish'd several notable Notions about Miracles, and have laid down good Rules to distinguish true from false ones; but none of them, as far as I perceive, have taken any Pains to shew the Consistence of Jesus's Miracles to their own Rules and Notions. Mr. Chandler, (who as the Archbishop[152] says, has rightly slated the Notion of a Miracle) among his Rules of judging by whom Miracles are perform'd, says,[153] That the Things pretended to be done, are to be such, as that it is consistent with the Perfections of God to interest himself in; and again, they must be such as answer to the Character of God as a good and gracious Being; and again, It seems reasonable to believe, that whenever the first and best of Beings is pleased to send an extraordinary Messenger with a Revelation of his Will, he will furnish him with such Proofs of his Mission, as may argue, not only the Power of him in whose Name be comes, but his Love to Mankind, and his Inclination to do them good. I have no Dislike to these Notions of Mr. Chandler; but as it is not to be questioned, that he (and the Archbishop too) had this Miracle of Jesus's cursing the Figtree, and some others, as of his boisterous driving the Buyers and Sellers out of the Temple; of his sending the Devils into the Herd of Swine; of his turning Water into Wine for the Use of Men, who had before well drank, &c. in his View, when he gave forth the foresaid Rules; (for acute and learned Writers in Theology are supposed to have their Wits about them;) so it is to be hop'd that he or the Archbishop will soon publish somewhat to reconcile these Miracles of Jesus to their own Notions; tho' I don't expect it before latter Lammas.