2nd King.—And so will I, i’ fack!
1st King.—You must begin, mon foi.
2nd King.—Sweet sir, pardonnez moi.
Bayes observes that he makes the two kings talk French in order “to show their breeding.” In the third act, Bayes introduces a new character, prince Prettyman, a parody upon the character of Leonidas, in Dryden’s “Marriage-a-la-Mode.” The prince falls asleep, and then his beloved Cloris comes in, and is surprised, upon which Bayes remarks, “Now, here she must make a simile.” “Where’s the necessity of that, Mr. Bayes?” asks the critical Mr. Smith. “Oh,” replies Bayes, “because she’s surprised. That’s a general rule. You must ever make a simile when you are surprised; ’tis a new way of writing.” Now we have another parody upon one of Dryden’s similes. In the fourth scene, the Gentleman-Usher and Physician appear again, discussing the question whether their whispers had been heard or not, a discussion which they conclude by seizing on the two thrones, and occupying them with their drawn swords in their hands. Then they march out to raise their forces, and a battle to music takes place, four soldiers on each side, who are all killed. Next we have a scene between prince Prettyman and his tailor, Tom Thimble, which involves a joke upon the princely principle of non-payment. A scene or two follows in a similar tone, without at all advancing the plot; although it appears that another prince, Volscius, who, we are to suppose, supports the old dynasty of Brentford, has made his escape to Piccadilly, while the army which he is to lead has assembled, and is concealed, at Knightsbridge. This incident produces a discussion between Mr. Bayes and his friends:—
Smith.—But pray, Mr. Bayes, is not this a little difficult, that you were saying e’en now, to keep an army thus concealed in Knightsbridge?
Bayes.—In Knightsbridge?—stay.
Johnson.—No, not if inn-keepers be his friends.[100]
Bayes.—His friends? Ay, sir, his intimate acquaintance; or else, indeed, I grant it could not be.
Smith.—Yes, faith, so it might be very easy.
Bayes.—Nay, if I don’t make all things easy, ’egad, I’ll give ’em leave to hang me. Now you would think that he is going out of town; but you will see how prettily I have contrived to stop him, presently.