"Guilty!"
There was a great excitement then, with my counsel excitedly whispering to me, and people murmuring in court; it seemed that I had outraged all the legal technicalities. Why could they not be done with it at once, and take my word for what had happened? I did not want to be set up there, to be stared at and pointed at; I had done with the world, and they had but to pass sentence upon me. I was tired of the sorry game; I wanted to go down the steps again quickly, and be lost to the world.
But it seemed that there was much to be done. My plea was amended; legally, it appeared, I was not guilty after all until I had been tried. And in that mock fashion (for so it seemed to me) I was tried on that dreadful charge, and all the sorry story was gone into again.
The court was packed; I remember noticing that there were many women present. I looked at the jury; and in that curious fashion in which small things appeal to us in great crises, I noticed one man with a bald head and a mild and innocent-looking face; I thought he seemed a little sorry for me, and I wondered about him, and longed to tell him that it did not matter, and that he need not be afraid of my feelings when he came to give his verdict. I felt quite anxious about that little innocent-looking juryman; I would have been so glad to comfort him.
It seemed that they had a great many people there I had forgotten. There was the landlord of the hotel at Hammerstone Market, and a waiter and a chambermaid; they had come to give evidence to the effect that they had heard me threaten to kill this man, and that they had broken in upon our struggles. The chambermaid was a young and pretty girl, who wept as she gave her evidence, and persisted in referring to me as "the young gentleman," despite their protestations that I should be dubbed "the prisoner." Then they all seemed to fade into the background, and my guardian stood to give evidence against me.
An unwilling witness this, my lord; a man dragged here by the stern arm of a subpoena to give evidence against this young man, whose friend and guardian he has been; you must not be surprised, my lord, if he should break down! He has tried hard to shield the prisoner already; such knowledge of the crime as he possessed has only been dragged out of him with great difficulty. Bear with him gently, my lord, and gentlemen of the jury, for his position is truly a pitiful one!
Mr. Jervis Fanshawe answered the first question in so low a tone that it was difficult to hear him. He had loved this boy, it appeared, as he might have loved a son of his own; he had watched his growing up, and had provided him with everything that was necessary for his proper education and for his placing out in the world. But he had noticed from the first a tendency on the part of this misguided boy to leave the beaten safe paths, and to take his own way in the world. The modest fortune entrusted to that guardian's care for the boy had long been exhausted, and Mr. Fanshawe had only too willingly paid certain expenses out of his own pocket.
I looked at him keenly then, and he lowered his eyes; but as he shook his head despondently at the same time, it was naturally concluded that he had long since come to the belief that there was not much to be done for me.
He was asked to come to the events of that night at the inn at Hammerstone Market, and he did so with reluctance. There had been bad blood between these young men, and he had endeavoured to put things right between them. He had given a modest supper, and had hoped that they would shake hands afterwards and be friends. Unfortunately, however, they had started again that business of card-playing that had been the original cause of the trouble between us.