I did feel that very likely he took fewer and fewer risks making friends as he grew up than he perhaps had as a child, but I was guessing at that, the risk of being close, in other words.
Mr. Jenner. Took fewer and fewer risks?
Mrs. Paine. I think he was fearful of being close to anyone.
Mr. Jenner. Or being hurt?
Mrs. Paine. Because he could, therefore, be hurt, right.
Mr. Jenner. Not being accepted?
Mrs. Paine. If he allowed himself to be friends or be close, then he opened the possibility of the friend hurting him, and I had this feeling about him, that he couldn't permit or stand such hurt.
Mr. Jenner. Would you tell us of your feelings toward Marina? You liked her? That is what I am getting at.
Mrs. Paine. Yes; I like her very much. I felt always that what I wanted to say and what I was able to understand of what she said was hampered by my poor Russian. It improved a good deal while with her, and we did have very personal talks about our respective marriages.
But I felt this was just a developing friendship, not one in full bloom, by any means. I respected what I saw in her, her pride, her wish to be independent, her habit of hard work, and expecting to work, her devotion to her children, first to June and then to both of the little girls, and the concentration of her attention upon this job of mother, and of raising these children.