Bos. Good drink is full of vertue, Now full of good drink is drunke; Ergo, to be drunke is to be vertuous.
Grac. I deny it: good drinke is full of vice, Drinke takes away the sences, Man that is sencelesse is vitious; Ergo, good drinke is full of vice.
Bos. I deny it still: good drinke makes good bloud, Good blood needes no Barber, Ergo, tis good to drinke good drinke.
Accu. Hee holdes ye hard, Graccus.
Bos. Heeres stronger proofe: drunkennes ingenders with two of the morrall vertues, and sixe of the lyberall sciences.
Gra. Let him proove that and Ile yeeld.
Host. A mad spirit, yfaith.
Bos. A drunkard is valiant and lyberall; heele outface Mars, brave Hercules, and feares not the Devill; then for the most part hee's liberal, for heele give all the cloathes off his back, though hee weepe like a Widowe all the day following; nay for the sciences, hee's a good phisitian, hee vomits himself rarelie and will giue any man else a vomit, that lookes on him (if he have not a verie good stomacke); perfect in Geomitrie, for he hangs in the aire by his own conceite, and feeles no ground; and hee's all musicall, the world turns round with him, everie face in the painted cloath, shewes like a Fairie dauncing about him, and everie spar in the house a minstrell.
Grac. Good: forward.
Bos. Then hee's a good Lawyer, for hees never without a fierie facies, & the least Capias will take his habeas Corpus: besides, another point of a Lawyere, heele raile and rave against his dearest friends and make the world think they are enemies, when the next day theile laugh, bee fat and drunk together: and a rare Astronomer, for he has starres twinckling in his eyes in the darkest night when a wise man discernes none in the firmament, and will take great paines in the practise, for lay him on his backe in the open fields over night, and you shal be sure to finde him there in the morning. Have I sed well or shall I give you a stronger proofe? An honest man will be as good as his word: Signior Graccus is an honest man, Ergo, I must have a new suite.