Next, signior Poll takes up the cudgels, that speaks nothing but designs, projects, intrigues, and experiments.... All the councils of the German diet, the Romish conclave, and Turkish divan, are well known to him. He kens all the cabals of the court to a hair's breadth, and (more than a hundred of us do) which lady is not painted: you would take his mouth for a lembeck,[6] it distils words so niggardly, as if he was loth to enrich you with lies, of which he has yet more plenty than Fox, Stowe, and Hollingshed bound up together. He tells you of a plot to let the lions loose in the Tower, and then blow it up with white powder; of five hundred and fifty Jesuits all mounted on dromedaries, seen by moonshine on Hampstead-heath; and a terrible design hatched by the College of Doway,[7] to drain the narrow seas, and bring popery over dry shod: besides, he had a thousand inventions dancing in his brain-pan; an advice-boat on the stocks, that shall go to the East Indies and come back again in a fortnight; a trick to march under water, and bore holes through the Dutch ships' keels with augres, and sink them, as they ride at anchor; and a most excellent pursuit to catch sun-beams, for making the ladies new-fashioned towers, that poets may no more be damned for telling lies about their curls and tresses.
[2] Camlet: a stuff originally made of silk and camel's hair, but later made of wool and silk.
[3] Betony: a plant noted for its medicinal properties.
[4] Rosade: a drink concocted from roses.
[5] Oglio: a spiced hotch-potch.
[6] Lembeck: apparatus for distilling.
[7] Douai.
A PARLIAMENTARY ELECTION, KING'S LYNN, NORFOLK, (1673).
Source.—The Lives of the Norths. Vol. i., pp. 111-113. Bohn edition.
When it was made known that his lordship [i.e., Francis North, who became Lord Keeper of the Great Seal] intended to stand for burgess, the magistrates intimated that they would serve him with their interest; and other encouragements he had: and before the writ came down he made the town a visit, and regaled the body with a very handsome treat which cost him above one hundred pounds; and they complimented him highly with assurances of all their interests, which they doubted not would be successful against any opposition, but they believed there would be none. He was made free, and had the thanks of the body for his favourable assistance in procuring them convoys, etc. So far was well: and when the writ was sent to the Sheriff of Norfolk, his lordship's engagements were such that he could not go down to the election himself but sent a young gentleman, his brother, to ride for him (as they call it), and Mr. Matthew Johnson, since clerk of the Parliament, for an economist of which there was need enough. The rule they observed was to take but one house and there to allow scope for all taps to run. Nor was there need of more, for, as had been foretold, there was no opposition, which was a disgust to the common people for they wanted a competition to make the money fly; and they said Hobson's choice was no choice. But all passed well, and the plenipos returned with their purchase, the return of the election, back to London.