III.
His rival, but in what?
Wherein did the deceased Akhoond of Swat
Kotal's lamented Moolla late,
As it were, emulate?
Was it in the tented field
With crash of sword on shield,
While backward meaner champions reeled
And loud the tom-tom pealed?
Did they barter gash for scar
With the Persian scimetar
Or the Afghanistee tulwar,
While loud the tom-tom pealed—
While loud the tom-tom pealed,
And the jim-jam squealed,
And champions less well heeled
Their war-horses wheeled
And fled the presence of these mortal big bugs o'
the field?
Was Kotal's proud citadel—
Bastioned, and demi-luned,
Beaten down with shot and shell
By the guns of the Akhoond?
Or were wails despairing caught, as
The burghers pale of Swat
Cried in panic, "Moolla ad Portas"?
—Or what?
Or made each in the cabinet his mark
Kotalese Gortschakoff, Swattish Bismarck?
Did they explain and render hazier
The policies of Central Asia?
Did they with speeches from the throne,
Wars dynastic,
Ententes cordiales,
Between Swat and Kotal;
Holy alliances,
And other appliances
Of statesmen with morals and consciences
plastic
Come by much more than their own?
Made they mots, as "There to-day are
No more Himalayehs,"
Or, if you prefer it, "There to-day are
No more Himalaya"?
Oi, said the Akhoond, "Sah,
L'État de Swat c'est moi"?
Khabu, did there come great fear
On thy Khabuldozed Ameer
Ali Shere?
Or did the Khan of far
Kashgar
Tremble at the menace hot
Of the Moolla of Kotal,
"I will extirpate thee, pal
Of my foe the Akhoond of Swat"?
Who knows
Of Moolla and Akhoond aught more than I did?
Namely, in life they rivals were, or foes,
And in their deaths not very much divided?
If any one knows it,
Let him disclose it!
George Thomas Lanigan.
RUSSIAN AND TURK
There was a Russian came over the sea,
Just when the war was growing hot;
And his name it was Tjalikavakaree-
Karindobrolikanahudarot-
Shibkadirova-
Ivarditztova
Sanilik
Danerik
Varagobhot.
A Turk was standing upon the shore—
Right where the terrible Russian crossed,
And he cried: "Bismillah! I'm Ab-El Kor-
Bazarou-Kilgonautosgobross-
Getfinpravadi-
Kligekoladji
Grivino
Blivido-
Jenikodosk!"
So they stood like brave men long and well;
And they called each other their proper names,
Till the lockjaw seized them, and where they fell
They buried them both by the Irdesholmmes
Kalatalustchuk
Mischtaribusiclup-
Bulgari-
Dulbary-
Sagharimsing.
Anonymous.