He spread a note so crisp, so neat
(Ho, and Hi, and tender Hum),
"If you of this a fifth can eat
I'll give you the remainder. Come!"
To the tuck-shop three repair,
(Ho, and Hum, and pensive Hi),
One looks on to see all's fair,
Two call out for hot mince-pie.
Thirteen tarts, a few Bath buns
(Hi, and Hum, and gorgeous Ho),
Lobster cakes (the butter'd ones),
All at once they cry, "No go."
Then doth tuck-man smile. "Them there
(Ho, and Hi, and futile Hum)
Jellies three and sixpence air,
Use of spoons an equal sum."
Three are rich. Sweet task 'tis o'er,
"Tuckman, you're a brick," they cry,
Wildly then shake hands all four
(Hum and Ho, the end is Hi).
Jean Ingelow.
THE PESSIMIST
Nothing to do but work,
Nothing to eat but food,
Nothing to wear but clothes
To keep one from going nude.
Nothing to breathe but air,
Quick as a flash 'tis gone;
Nowhere to fall but off,
Nowhere to stand but on.
Nothing to comb but hair,
Nowhere to sleep but in bed,
Nothing to weep but tears,
Nothing to bury but dead.