PARDONER. Now, in good faith, and I assent.
'POTHECARY. If I denied, I were a noddy; For all is mine, by God's body, [Here the 'Pothecary hoppeth.
PALMER. Here were a hopper to hop for the ring!
But, sir,[452] this gear goeth not by hopping.
'POTHECARY. Sir, in this hopping I will hop so well,
That my tongue shall hop better[453] than my heel:
Upon which hopping I hope, and not doubt it,
To hop[454] so, that ye shall hop[455] without it.[456]
PALMER. Sir, I will neither boast ne brawl.
But take such fortune as may fall:
And if ye win this mastery,
I will obey you quietly:
And sure I think that quietness
In any man is great riches
In any manner company,
To rule or be ruled[457] indifferently.
PARDONER. By that boast thou seemest a beggar indeed,
What can thy quietness help us at need?
If we should starve, thou hast not, I think,
One penny to buy us one pot of drink.
Nay, if riches might rule the roost,
Behold what cause I have to boast!
Lo, here be[458] pardons half a dozen,
For ghostly riches they have no cousin.
And moreover to me they bring
Sufficient succour for my living.
And here be[459] relics of such a kind,
As in this world no man can[460] find,
Kneel down all three, and when ye leave kissing,
Who list to offer shall have my blessing.
Friends, here shall ye see even anon
Of All-Hallows the blessed jaw-bone,[461]
Kiss it hardily with good devotion.
'POTHECARY. This kiss shall bring us much promotion.
Foh, by St Saviour, I never kissed a worse;
Ye were as good kiss All-Hallows' arse;
For, by All-Hallows, yet me-thinketh,
That All-Hallows' breath stinketh.
PALMER. Ye judge All-Hallows' breath unknown:
If any breath stink, it is your own.
'POTHECARY. I know mine own breath from All-Hallows,
Or else it were time to kiss the gallows.
PARDONER. Nay, sirs, behold, here may ye see
The great toe of the Trinity:
Who to this toe any money voweth,
And once may roll it in his mouth,
All his life after, I undertake,
He shall never be vexed with the toothache.[462]