CAREAWAY.
I see it is so without any doubt;
But how the devil came it about?
Whoso in England looketh on him steadily,
Shall perceive plainly that he is I:
I have seen myself a thousand times in a glass;
But so like myself, as he is, never was;
He hath in every point my clothing and my gear;
My head, my cap, my shirt, and knotted hair,
And of the same colour: my eyes, nose, and lips:
My cheeks, chin, neck, feet, legs, and hips:
Of the same stature, and height, and age:
And is in every point Master Bongrace page,
That if he have a hole in his tail,
He is even I mine own self without any fail!
And yet when I remember, I wot not how,
The same man that I have ever been me thinketh I am now:
I know my master and his house, and my five wits I have:
Why then should I give credence to this foolish knave,
That nothing intendeth but me delude and mock?
For whom should I fear at my master's gate to knock?
JACK JUGGLER.
Thinkest thou I have said all this in game?
Go, or I shall send thee hence in the devil's name!
Avoid, thou lousy lurden and precious stinking slave,
That neither thy name knowest nor canst any master have!
Wine-shaken pillory-peeper,[191] of lice not without a peck,
Hence, or by Gods precious,[192] I shall break thy neck!
CAREAWAY.
Then, master, I beseech you heartily take the pain,
If I be found in any place, to bring me to me again.
Now is not this a wonderful case,
That no man shall lese himself so in any place?
Have any of you heard of such a thing heretofore?
No, nor never shall, I daresay, from henceforth any more.
JACK JUGGLER [Aside.]
While he museth and judgeth himself upon,
I will steal away for a while, and let him alone.
[Exit Jack Juggler.
CAREAWAY.
Good Lord of heaven, where did I myself leave?
Or who did me of my name by the way bereave?
For I am sure of this in my mind,
That I did in no place leave myself behind.
If I had my name played away at dice,
Or had sold myself to any man at a price,
Or had made a fray, and had lost it in fighting,
Or it had been stolen from me sleeping,
It had been a matter, and I would have kept patience;
But it spiteth my heart to have lost it by such open negligence.
Ah, thou whoreson, drowsy, drunken sot!
It were an alms-deed to walk[193] thy coat,
And I shrew him that would for thee be sorry,
To see thee well curried by and by;
And, by Christ, if any man would it do,
I myself would help thereto.
For a man may see, thou whoreson goose,
Thou wouldest lese thine arse, if it were loose!
Albeit I would never the deed believe,
But that the thing itself doth show and preve.[194]
There was never ape so like unto an ape,
As he is to me in feature and shape;
But what woll my master say, trow ye,
When he shall this gear hear and see?
Will he know me, think you, when he shall see me?
If he do not, another woll as good as he.
But where is that other I? whither is he gone?
To my master, by Cock's precious passion:
Either to put me out of my place,
Or to accuse me to my master Bongrace!
But I woll after, as fast as I can flee:
I trust to be there as soon as he.
That if my master be not ready home to come,
I woll be here again as fast as I can run.
In any wise to speak with my mistress,
Or else I shall never escape hanging doubtless.
DAME COY.
I shall not sup this night, full well I see;
For as yet nobody cometh for to fet me.
But good enough, let me alone:
I woll be even with them every-chone.
I say nothing, but I think somewhat, i-wis:
Some there be that shall hear of this!
Of all unkind and churlish husbands this is the cast,
To let their wives sit at home and fast;
While they be forth, and make good cheer:
Pastime and sport, as now he doth there.
But if I were a wise woman, as I am a mome,
I should make myself, as good cheer at home.
But if he have thus unkindly served me,
I woll not forget it this months three;
And if I wist the fault were in him, I pray God I be dead,
But he should have such a curry,[195] ere he went to bed,
As he never had before in all his life,
Nor any man else have had of his wife!
I would rate him and shake him after such a sort,
As should be to him a corrosive full little to his comfort!
ALLISON TRIP-AND-GO.
If I may be so bold, by your mistress-ship's license,
As to speak and show my mind and sentence,
I think of this you may the boy thank;
For I know that he playeth you many a like prank,
And that would you say, if you knew as much as we,
That his daily conversation and behaviour see;
For if you command him to go speak with some one,
It is an hour, ere he woll be gone;
Then woll he run forth, and play in the street,
And come again, and say that he cannot with him meet.
DAME COY.
Nay, nay, it is his master's play:
He serveth me so almost every third day;
But I woll be even with him, as God give me joy,
And yet the fault may be in the boy—
As ungracious a graft, so mot I thrive,
As any goeth on God's ground alive!
CAREAWAY.
My wit is breeched in such a brake,
That I cannot devise what way is best to take.
I was almost as far as my master is;
But then I began to remember this,
And to cast the worst, as one in fear:
If he chance to see me and keep me there,
Till he come himself, and speak with my mistress,
Then am I like to be in shrewd distress:
Yet were I better, thought I, to turn home again.
And first speak with her, certain—
Cock's body, yonder she standeth at the door!
Now is it worse than it was before.
Would Christ I could get again out of her sight:
For I see by her look she is disposed to fight.
By the Lord, she hath there an angry shrew's look—
DAME COY.
Lo, yonder cometh that unhappy hook!