SIMONY.
Then, this man is answered. Sir Peter Pleaseman, come in with me,
And I'll prefer you straightway to my lady.
PETER. O sir, I thank ye. [Exeunt.
Enter SIMPLICITY, with a basket on his arm.
SIMPLICITY.
You think I am going to market to buy roast meat, do ye not?
I thought so; but you are deceived, for I wot what I wot.
I am neither going to the butcher's to buy veal, mutton, or beef,
But I am going to a bloodsucker; and who is it? faith, Usury, that thief.
Why, sirs, 'twas no marcle[188] he undid my father, that was called
Plain-Dealing,
When he has undone my lady and Conscience too with his usuring.
I'll tell ye, sirs, trust him not, for he'll flatter bonfacion[189]
and sore,
Till he has gotten the baker vantage; then he'll turn you out of door.
Enter DISSIMULATION.
DISSIMULATION.
Simplicity, now of my honesty, very heartily well-met.
SIMPLICITY.
What, Semblation, swear not; for thou swearest by that thou couldst
not get.
Thou have honesty now? thy honesty is quite gone:
Marry, thou hadst honesty at eleven of the clock, and went from you
at noon.
Why, how canst thou have honesty, when it dare not come nigh thee?
I warrant, Semblation, he that has less honesty than thou may defy thee.
Thou hast honesty, sir reverence! come out, dog, where art thou?
Even as much[190] honesty as had my mother's great hoggish sow.
No, faith, thou must put out my eye with honesty, and thou hadst it here:
Hast not left it at the alehouse in gage for a pot of strong beer?
DISSIMULATION.
Pray thee, leave prating, Simplicity, and tell me what thou hast there.
SIMPLICITY.
Why, 'tis nothing for thee: thou dost not deal with such kind of ware.
Sirrah, there is no deceit in a bag-pudding, is there? nor in a plain
pudding-pie?
But there is deceit, and knavery too, in thy fellow that is called
Usury.[191]
Sirrah, I'll tell thee; I won[192] not tell thee; and yet I'll tell
thee, now I 'member me, too.
Canst tell, or wouldst know whither with this parliament I go?[193]
Faith, even to Suck-Swill, thy fellow Usury, I am sent
With my Lady Love's gown, and Lady Conscience' too, for a quarter's rent.
DISSIMULATION.
Alas! poor Lady Love, art thou driven so low?
Some little pittance on thee I'll bestow.
Hold, Simplicity: carry her three or four ducats from me,
And commend me to her even very heartily.