COM[282]. Salutem primum jam a principio propitiam.
Mihi atque vobis, spectatores, nuntio[283]—
PHA. Pish, pish, this is a speech with no action; let's hear Terence, Quid igitur faciam, &c.
COM. _Quid igitur faciam? non eam? ne nunc quidem,
Cum arcessor ultro?[284]
PHA. Fie, fie, fie, no more action! lend me your bays, do it thus—Quid igitur, &c. [He acts it after the old kind of pantomimic action.
COM. SEN. I should judge this action, Phantastes, most absurd, unless we should come to a comedy, as gentlewomen to the Commencement[285], only to see men speak.
PHA. In my imagination, 'tis excellent; for in this kind the hand, you know, is harbinger to the tongue, and provides the words a lodging in the ears of the auditors.
COM. SEN. Auditus, it is now time you make us acquainted with the quality of the house you keep in, for our better help in judgment.
AUD. Upon the sides of fair mount Cephalon
Have I two houses passing human skill:
Of finest matter by Dame Nature wrought,
Whose learned fingers have adorn'd the same
With gorgeous porches of so strange a form,
That they command the passengers to stay.
The doors whereof in hospitality
Nor day nor night are shut, but, open wide,
Gently invite all comers; whereupon
They are named the open ears of Cephalon.
But lest some bolder sound should boldly rush,
And break the nice composure of the work,
The skilful builder wisely hath enrang'd
An entry from each port with curious twines
And crook'd meanders, like the labyrinth
That Daedalus fram'd t'enclose the Minotaur;
At th'end whereof is plac'd a costly portal,
Resembling much the figure of a drum,
Granting slow entrance to a private closet.
Where daily, with a mallet in my hand,
I set and frame all words and sounds that come
Upon an anvil, and so make them fit
For the periwinkling porch[286], that winding leads
From my close chamber to your lordship's cell.
Thither do I, chief justice of all accents,
Psyche's next porter, Microcosm's front,
Learning's rich treasure, bring discipline,
Reason's discourse, knowledge of foreign states,
Loud fame of great heroes' virtuous deeds;
The marrow of grave speeches, and the flowers
Of quickest wits, neat jests, and pure conceits;
And oftentimes, to ease the heavy burthen
Of government your lordship's shoulders bear,
I thither do conduce the pleasing nuptials
Of sweetest instruments with heavenly noise.
If then Auditus have deserv'd the best,
Let him be dignified before the rest.
COM. SEN. Auditus, I am almost a sceptic in this matter, scarce knowing which way the balance of the cause will decline. When I have heard the rest, I will despatch judgment; meanwhile, you may depart.
[AUDITUS leads his show about the stage, and then goes out.