BRA. Ha, ha! to see the world! we swaggerers,
That live by oaths and big-mouth'd menaces,
Are now reputed for the tallest men:
He that hath now a black moustachio,
Reaching from ear to ear, or turning up,
Puncto reverso, bristling towards the eye;
He that can hang two handsome tools at his side,
Go in disguis'd attire, wear iron enough,
Is held a tall man and a soldier.
He that with greatest grace can swear Gog's-zounds,
Or in a tavern make a drunken fray,
Can cheat at dice, swagger in bawdy-houses,
Wear velvet on his face, and with a grace
Can face it out with,—As I am a soldier!
He that can clap his sword upon the board,
He's a brave man—and such a man am I.
MRS MA. She that with kisses can both kill and cure,
That lives by love, that swears by nothing else
But by a kiss, which is no common oath;
That lives by lying, and yet oft tells truth;
That takes most pleasure when she takes most pains;
She's a good wench, my boy, and so am I.
MRS SPLAY. She that is past it, and prays for them that may—
BRA. Is an old bawd, as you are, Mistress Splay.
MRS SPLAY. O, do not name that name; do you not know,
That I could ne'er endure to hear that name?
But, if your man would leave us, I would read
The lesson that last night I promis'd you.
MRS MA. I prythee, leave us, we would be alone.
BRA. And will, and must: if you bid me begone,
I will withdraw, and draw on any he,
That in the world's wide round dare cope with me.
Mistress, farewell! to none I never speak
So kind a word. My salutations are,
Farewell, and be hang'd! or, in the devil's name!
What they have been, my many frays can tell;
You cannot fight; therefore to you, farewell!
[Exit.
MRS MA. O, this same swaggerer is
The bulwark of my reputation; but,
Mistress Splay, now to your lecture that you promised me.
MRS SPLAY. Daughter, attend, for I will tell thee now
What, in my young days, I myself have tried;
Be rul'd by me, and I will make thee rich.
You, God be prais'd, are fair, and, as they say,
Full of good parts; you have been often tried
To be a woman of good carriage,
Which, in my mind, is very commendable.
MRS MA. It is indeed; forward, good Mother Splay.