W. Small. Musicians! minstrels! foot, rogues,
For God's love, leave your filthy squeaking noise,
And get you gone: the widow and myself
Will scamble out the shaking of the sheets[433]
Without music; we have no need of fiddlers
To our dancing. Foot, have you no manners?
Cannot a man take his natural rest
For your scraping? I shall wash your gut-strings,
If you but stay a while: yet, honest rascals,
If you'll let us have t'other crash,
The widow and I'll keep time; there's for your pains.
[Throws them down money.
Oliver. How's this? will the widow and you keep time?
What trick? what quiddit? what fegary is this?
My cashier'd son speak from the widow's chamber,
And in his shirt? ha! sure she is not there!
'Tis so; she has took him in for pity,
And now removes her chamber. I will home,
On with my neatest robes, perfume my beard,
Eat cloves, eringoes, and drink some aqua vitæ
To sweeten breath, and keep my weam from wambling;
Then, like the month of March, come blust'ring in,
Marry the widow, shake up this springal,
And then, as quiet as a sucking lamb,
Close by the widow will I rest all night[434].
As for my breath I have crotches and devices,
"Ladies' rank breaths are often help'd with spices."
Enter Adriana and another, strawing herbs.[435]
Adr. Come, straw apace; Lord, shall I never live
To walk to church on flowers? O, 'tis fine,
To see a bride trip it to church so lightly,
As if her new chopines[436] would scorn to bruise
A silly flower: and now, I pr'ythee, tell me,
What flower thinkest thou is likest to a woman?
1st Woman. A mary-gold, I think.
Adr. Why a mary-gold?
1st Woman. Because a little heat makes it to spread,
And open wide his leaves.
Adr. Th'art quite wide:
A mary-gold doth open wide all day,
And shuts most close at night: I hope thou knowest
All wenches do the contrary: but, sirrah,
How does thy uncle the old doctor?
Dost think he'll be a bishop?
1st Woman. O, questionless!
For h'as got him a young wife, and carried her
To court already: but now, I pr'ythee, say,
Why will the widow wed so old a knight?