Leo. Nay, choose you, faith; the best is, an' you do,
You know who'll have the worst on't.
Wife. True, myself. [Aside.
Leo. Little thinks she, I have set her forth already;
I please my lord, yet keep her in awe too. [Aside.
Wife. One thing I had forgot; I prythee, wench,
Steal to Votarius closely, and remember him
To wear some privy armour then about him,
That I may feign a fury without fear.
Leo. Armour! when, madam?
Wife. See now, I chid thee
When I least thought upon thee; thou'rt my best hand;
I cannot be without thee. Thus then, sirrah:
To beat away suspicion from the thoughts
Of under-listening servants 'bout the house,
I have advis'd Votarius at fit time
Boldly to force his way into my chamber,
The admittance being denied him, and the passage
Kept strict by thee, my necessary woman.
(La! there I should have miss'd thy help again!)
At which attempt I'll take occasion
To dissemble such an anger, that the world
Shall ever after swear us to their thoughts
As clear and free from any fleshly knowledge,
As nearest kindred are, or ought to be,
Or what can more express it, if that fail'd.
Leo. You know I'm always at your service, madam,
But why some privy armour?
Wife. Marry, sweetheart,
The best is yet forgotten; thou shalt have
A weapon in some corner of the chamber,
Yonder, or there—
Leo. Or anywhere: why, i' faith, madam,
Do you think I'm to learn how[469] to hang a weapon?
As much as I'm incapable of what follows!
I've all your mind without book: think it done, madam.
Wife. Thanks, my good wench, I'll never call thee worse.