Wife. Widow, we'll stand aside.
Ingen. Good morrow to the glory of our age,
The Lady Perfect and the Lady Bright,
[Meeting the Wife and Widow.[75]
The virtuous wife and widow; but to you,
The Lady Honour and my mistress,
The happiness of your wishes.
Maid. By this light,
I never heard one speak so scurvily,
Utter such stale wit, and pronounce so ill.
"But to you, my Lady Honour and my mistress,
The happiness of your wishes!"
Ingen. Stop your wit;
You would fain show these ladies, what a hand
You hold over your servant: 't shall not need;
I will express your tyranny well enough,
I have lov'd this lady since I was a child,
Since I could construe Amo: now she says
I do not love her, 'cause I do not weep,
Lay mine arms o'er my heart, and wear no garters,
Walk with mine eyes in my hat, sigh and make faces
For all the poets in the town to laugh at.
Pox o' this howling love! 'tis like a dog
Shut out at midnight. Must love needs be powder'd,
Lie steep'd in brine, or will it not keep sweet?
Is it like beef in summer?
Maid. Did you ever
Hear one talk fustian like a butcher thus?
Ingen. 'Tis foolish, this same telling folks we love:
It needs no words, 'twill show itself in deeds;
And did I take you for an entertainer,
A lady that will wring one by the finger,
Whilst on another's toes she treads, and cries
"By gad, I love but one, and you are he,"
Either of them thinking himself the man,
I'd tell you in your ear, put for the business,
Which granted or denied, "Madam, God be wi' ye."
Maid. Come, these are daily slanders that you raise
On our infirm and unresisting sex:
You never met, I'm sure, with such a lady.
Ingen. O, many, by this light. I've seen a chamber
Frequented like an office of the law:
Clients succeed at midnight one another,
Whilst the poor madam hath been so distress'd
Which of her lovers to show most countenance to,
That her dull husband has perceiv'd her wiles.
Maid. Nay, perhaps taught her: many of those husbands
Are base enough to live upon't.