Sir Jas. Must all forego their wives that are not wise?
Sir Art. Or be divorc'd, because we dare not fight?
Sir Gre. Or lose our mates, because we are not handsome?
Sir Tris. Nay, 'cause we are not arm'd so well as others be,
Forfeit our consort and our fortunes too?
Sir Reu. Yes, that's the plague on't. Lose a light-heeled trull—
That in my judgment's nothing; but to lose all
Or moiety of that all, or any part at all
For a poor nifling[132] toy that's worse than nothing,
'Tis this that nettleth me! I must confess
Tinder, that light-skirt, with impetuous heat
Sometimes pursu'd me, till that quenchless fire
Burst into flames of boundless jealousy,
Which cross'd mine humour; for variety
Relish'd my palate. Phœnix' brains be rare;
But if our dishes had no other fare,
They would offend the stomach, and so sate it,
As grosser meats would give a better taste:
Such was my surfeit to a marriage-bed;
My fortunes I prefer before her beauty,
Or what may most content the appetite.
Money will purchase wenches; but this want—
This roguish thing called want—makes wanton thoughts
Look much unlike themselves: 'tis this white metal
Enliveneth spirits, knits our arteries
Firm as Alcides. He that binds himself
Apprentice to his wife merely for love,
May he, pen-feathered widgeon, forfeit's freedom,
With whatsoe'er is dearest to the vogue
Of his affections. She were a rare piece
That could engage me, or oblige me hers
With all those ceremonial rites which Flamens use
To Hymen's honour. Beauty, still say I,
Will breed a surfeit, be it ne'er so choice
Nor eye-attractive. I should choose a grave
Before one mistress all mine interest have.
O my alimony, alimony! this is the goad that only prickles me.
Pla. Those be your husbands, ladies;—how pitifully they look?
Ladies. Alas, poor cuckolds!
Knights. Ladies, we were sometimes your husbands.
[These Platonics discover the Knights, and scornfully eye them.
Ladies. True,
You were so: but your known defects have raz'd
That style of wedlock, and enfranchis'd us
From that tyrannic yoke. We're now our own;
Nor shall our beds by you be henceforth known.