Care. Such a lecture, before I had married, would ha' made me have considered of this matter. Dost thou hear, Wanton? Let us forgive one another being married, for that folly has made us guilty alike.
Wan. And I would fain know the difference betwixt ours and a wedding crime, which is worst: to let love, youth, and good-humour betray us to a kindness, or to be gravely seduced by some aunt or uncle, without consideration of the disparity of age, birth, or persons, to lie down before a jointure. Ladies, you may flatter yourselves; but the ingenuous part of the world cannot deny but such minds, had they been born where our faults are not only tolerated but protected, would have listened to the same things: interest counsels thereto.
Care. Parson, what boot betwixt our wives? either come to a price, or draw off your doxy.
Par. Propose, propose: here will be mirth anon.
Sad. Yes, yes, propose, while I break it to your lady. Madam, you see, here's a proper man to be had, and money to boot. What, dumb?
Wan. No, she's only thinking. Faith, madam, try 'em both to-night, and choose to-morrow.
Wild. Come, no more of this. Aunt, take my word for your husband, that have had more experience of him than all these: 'tis true he will long for these girls, as children do for plums; and when h' has done, make a meal upon cheese. And you must not wonder nor quarrel at what he says in his humour, but judge him by his actions; and when he is in his fit, and raves most, put him into your bed, and fold him close in your arms, aunt: if he does not rise as kind and as good a husband as he that sings psalms best, hang me? Why, you're a fool, aunt: a widow, and dislike a longing bridegroom! I thought you had known better. Do you love a spurred horse rather than a ducker, that neighs and scrapes? I would not say this, but that I know him. Let him not go out of your sight, for he's now in season—a ripe, mature husband. No delays: if you let him hang longer upon hope, his fruit will fall alone.
Wid. You are merry, sir; but if I had known this humour——
Wild. You'd ha' kissed him first; but, being ignorant, let me make you blush. Come, a kiss, and all's friends. [She kisses Careless, and he kisses her twice.] How now, sir, again! again!