ODE TO THE NORTH AND SOUTH
O Jonathan and Jefferson,
Come listen to my song;
I can't decide, my word upon,
Which of you is most wrong.
I do declare I am afraid
To say which worse behaves,
The North, imposing bonds on Trade,
Or South, that Man enslaves.
And here you are about to fight,
And wage intestine war,
Not either of you in the right:
What simpletons you are!
Too late your madness you will see,
And when your passion cools,
"Snakes!" you will bellow, "How could we
Have been such 'tarnal fools!"
One thing is certain; that if you
Blow out each other's brains,
'Twill be apparent what a few
Each blockhead's skull contains.
You'll have just nothing for your cost,
To show, when all is done.
Greatness and glory you'll have lost;
And not a dollar won.
Oh, joined to us by blood, and by
The bond of kindred speech,
And further, by the special tie
Of slang, bound each to each,
All-fired gonies, softhorn'd pair,
Each other will you lick?
You everlastin' dolts, forbear!
Throw down your arms right slick.
You'll chaw each other up, you two,
Like those Kilkenny cats,
When they had better things to do,
Improvin' off the rats.
Now come, shake hands, together jog
On friendly yet once more;
Whip one another not: and flog
Creation, as before!
Still again, Punch showed good feeling in admonishing Lord Palmerston, after firing on Sumter, to keep Great Britain neutral.
"Well Pam," says Mr. Punch to his workman, "of course I shall keep you on, but you must stick to peace-work."
Nor could the North object to the cartoon, in May, 1861, in which Lincoln made his first appearance in Punch. The face, faithfully limned from the early beardless photographs, represented him as a man of clean-cut intelligent features,—in marked contrast to the bearded ruffian, a repulsive compound of malice, vulgarity and cunning which John Tenniel's pencil subsequently delighted to give to the world as a counterfeit presentment of the President of the United States.
In this first picture Lincoln is represented as poking the fire and filling the room with particles of soot, saying with downcast look: