A certain old gentleman’s lack of “polish” is a sad trial to his eldest daughter. Not long ago the family were gathered in the library, one of the windows of which was open.
“That air—” the father began, but was quickly interrupted.
“Father, dear, don’t say ‘that air’—say ‘that there,’” the daughter admonished.
“Well, this ear—” he again attempted, but was as quickly brought to a halt.
“Nor ‘this ’ere’; ‘this here’ is correct,” he was told.
The old gentleman rose with an angry snort. “Look here, Mary,” he said. “Of course I know you have been to school and all that, but I reckon I know what I want to say, an’ I am going to say it. I believe I feel cold in this ear from that air, and I’m going to shut the window!”
“If you please, sir?”