Mr. M.—“Ancestors? What’s that?”
The Stranger—“I mean who do the Murphys spring from?”
Mr. M.—“The Murphys spring from no one. They spring at thim!”
At a wedding-feast recently the bridegroom was called upon, as usual, to respond to the given toast, in spite of the fact that he had previously pleaded to be excused. Blushing to the roots of his hair, he rose to his feet. He intended to imply that he was unprepared for speechmaking, but he unfortunately placed his hand upon his bride’s shoulder, and looked down at her as he stammered out his opening and concluding words:
“This—er—thing has been forced upon me.”
Very much excited and out of breath, a young man who could not have been married very long rushed up to an attendant at one of the city hospitals and inquired after Mrs. Brown, explaining between breaths that it was his wife whom he felt anxious about.
The attendant looked at the register and replied that there was no Mrs. Brown in the hospital.