Upon moving into a new neighborhood the small boy of the family was cautioned not to fight with his new acquaintances. One day Willie came home with a black eye and very much spattered with dirt.

“Why, Willie,” said mama, “I thought I told you to count a hundred before you fought!”

“I did, mama,” said Willie, “and look what Tommy Smith did while I was counting!”


“The rolling stone gathers no moss,” quoted the man who had never been outside his home county.

“True,” rejoined the globe-trotter, “but it acquires an enviable polish.”


Curate (who is going to describe his little holiday in Lucerne)—“My dear friends—I will not call you ladies and gentlemen, since I know you too well.”